He Taught Me How To Cry
by poeticsoul19
Summary: *Unfinished* Edward broke up with Bella for fame, then she found out she was pregnant and told her to have an abortion.She did.How will she feel when years later she is not only confronted with him once again but with his super model girlfriend?
1. Prologue

**Hey people! This is my first Edward/Bella story so please go easy on me! Lol. Hope you enjoy!xxx**

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**Chapter 1**

_**3 years ago**_

Isabella Swan looked at her phone one more time, contemplating whether or not she should. She sighed and groaned in frustration.

This shouldn't have turned out this way. She should have been with him and been excited and overwhelmed to tell him this news, because she would have known that he'd be happy too. But yet here she was, nervous and unbearably scared to phone him and tell him that she was pregnant.

Why you ask?

Because exactly one month ago, he'd left her for his newfound fame. He'd told her that he had a lot of things going on in his life right now and being with her as he'd stated was "too time consuming." He'd told her that he was in a place right now, where he needed to focus on his career.

After 2 years, he'd just left...like it was the easiest thing to do. Bella couldn't understand. How could he have professed his love for her endless amount of times and then just decided one day that actually maybe he didn't love her as much as he thought he had.

Bella once again held back the tears that threatened to escape, because she was done. She was done crying for him and wondering why he'd left. He'd always been into his music and Bella had never gotten in the way of that. She understood that he'd always wanted to be a singer and she'd encouraged him to do it. And when he finally made it, she'd been there, ecstatic and amazingly proud of him for finally getting his dream to come true.

She couldn't understand why he thought that she was getting in the way. It made no sense. How could you love someone one day and not the next?

And no she was faced with the horrendous task of telling the guy, who hadn't wanted her, that she was going to have his baby. What would he say? What would he think?

There was only one person right now who knew that she was pregnant and that was Alice Cullen, her best friend and sister of Edward Cullen – the guy who tore her life up and burnt it to pieces. Alice was the one who had pushed her to tell him. Alice was the greatest friend she could have possibly imagined. Bella met Alice when she'd started in Forks High School and instantly befriended her and the rest of the group.

Bella sighed and realised that no longer how much she sat there, staring at the phone like it was about to eat her alive, she couldn't delay the inevitable. She pressed the numbers, which she still knew off by heart, and waited until she heard it ringing. And surely, after a few rings that felt longer than eternity, he picked up.

"Bella, why are you phoning me? We've said all we had to say to each other." Hearing Edward's voice made her heart skip a beat, but that was nothing new. That happened every time she heard his voice, every time she saw his face, every time she even thought about him.

"Yes, I know that Edward but... I need to talk to you. It's important. Can we meet up somewhere?" Bella said in a strong voice; she didn't need him to know how distraught she was and how much she missed him. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"I'm sorry but I'm busy. Just say what you have to say," he demanded in a forceful tone, one which Bella was unaccustomed to.

"Look Edward, it isn't something we can discuss over the phone alright? I need to see you." As soon as those words left her mouth, she winced. Those words were exactly what she'd been trying to avoid. They made her sound weak and pathetic; like one of those girls that was needy and clingy and just wouldn't let go.

"Well you either say it now or just leave it because I told you before – I'm busy!" Edward said, practically shouting. Bella knew that it was now or never. She had to tell him.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted, afraid that if she thought anymore about it she would back out and never have another chance to tell him. There was silence for a long time and Bella was afraid of his reaction, but at least he was still on the phone. But when his reaction finally emerged, Bella began to wish he'd hung up the phone.

He laughed loudly.

"Are you serious? Wow, my manager was right! You know he actually told me that you would pull some shit like that and I didn't believe him. That is hilarious!" Edward continued to laugh while Bella could no longer hold her tears inside. They rushed down her face with no end in sight.

"Edward I'm not kidding. I'm pregnant." She was glad now, that she hadn't told him face to face, she didn't think she could have bared it if he'd seen her tears while he laughed.

Edward stopped laughing abruptly when he realised that it really wasn't a joke. Instead he sneered.

"Do you really think that I want that baby? How can you even bring it into the world? Are you that selfish? To bring an unplanned and unwanted child into this world while we're only 18 years old? If I didn't want to have anything to do with you what makes you think I want anything to do with this baby?"

"What the hell are you saying?" Bella couldn't hide the tremble in her voice anymore. She didn't want to acknowledge that she knew what he was going to say. She didn't want to believe it.

"Get rid of it. I've just started my career and you really want to bring it down because of your selfish needs? I don't need this right now." Bella decided in that moment, that the voice she was hearing was no longer the Edward she knew. It couldn't be. It had to be an evil that had taken over his body, because the Edward she knew wouldn't say things like that.

"I don't want anything from you, you selfish bastard. I just wanted you to know." With that, she hung up the phone and cried. Cried for everything she had lost, cried for the things she feared would come and most of all she cried for this baby - that she knew, without a doubt, could not come into this world.

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**Hey people! I know you're probably thinking that Bella is aborting her child because of what Edward said but that's not it and you'll find out why she did later on in the story!**

**I know Edward was a major bastard but he had to be in this chapter, you'll also find out why later!**

**Please please please review and tell me what you think. Is it good? Is it bad? If you have any further ideas please tell me!**

**Thankssss sooo much!xxx**


	2. Next Step To Your Dreams

**Hey guys! Thank you thank you thank you for your reviews! You guys are so making me want to write more, you have no idea! I really hope that I can live up to your expectations! Wish me luck! xxx**

**Disclaimer: This is for the entire story so I don't have to keep writing it. Unfortunately I do not own any of the Twilight characters what so ever. I wish I owned Edward but hey a girl can dream. Lol. He belongs to Stephenie Meyer forever. *sigh***

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**Chapter 2**

**Present**

Bella had always dreamed of becoming a journalist. Her passion had always been finding stories and telling them to the world. She had also, since she could remember, loved writing. She began writing poetry when she was only twelve years old and hadn't stopped since. She also tried to write novels but for some reason, she always begun them only to leave them hanging. Maybe it was because writing a novel took more time and patience than she actually had.

Now, finally, after hard years of working endlessly to pursue her dream, the wait was finally over. She had just been offered a chance to work for 'Starlight' magazine - one of the biggest magazines in the country even competing with Vogue. It was a magazine for everything that could possibly affect, involve or entertain women, including an amazing music section which Bella got all to herself. She had never been so happy! As she practically skipped down the street she pulled out her phone to inform Alice of the great news.

"Bella? Why haven't you called me sooner? Tell me what happened! Did you get the job? Did they turn you down? If they did I am so going over there to kick their asses! I can't believe they would do such a thing to you; you're perfect for the job! Woman, just tell me what happened the suspense is killing me!" Alice ranted as soon as she picked up the phone. It was such an 'Alice' thing to do. The girl, after so many years of friendship, could still surprise Bella.

"As I've told you so many times before dear Alice, if you let me speak I will tell you." Bella didn't continue just to tease Alice. She knew she would get a reaction and as always – she was right.

"Isabella Marie Swan if you do not tell me right now I will-"

"Okay okay I'll tell you...I got the job!" Bella cried happily, a few people on the street turned their heads to see what the excitement was all about. Usually Bella would have been slightly embarrassed but right now she was too happy to let anything get her down.

"Oh my God! I knew you would get it! Congratulations! Okay we have to celebrate right now! Meet me at the bar; I'm going to phone everyone to meet us there!" Alice cried excitedly. Bella laughed as she took out the keys to her very modest but cosy car. She opened the door and sat in the front seat.

"Alright Alice, I'm on my way now. I'll see you there," Bella said her goodbyes and hung up the phone. Looking in her mirror, she saw the happiness she felt and noticed that she hadn't felt quite this happy in a very long time.

Sure, she'd had short moments of happiness throughout these past few years but how could she be completely happy when all she could see in her mind was an image of a beautiful baby boy with honey brown eyes and curly brown hair. Her guilty conscience had forced this image into her mind since the day she had stepped out of the clinic.

Her nightmares still wouldn't leave her alone. Just the thought of what she'd done, weighed immensely on her heart and her biggest fear was that she would never be able to get over it. That she would always feel this heavy guilt deep in her soul.

The worst thing had been finding out that she would have had a boy. A little baby boy with her eyes and Edward's hair and who knows what else. The picture that she'd formed in her head from the day she'd found out was of a perfect, healthy and gorgeous baby boy and it was imprinted in her mind forever.

Bella sighed and shook the images from her mind. This was no time to be sad. She was getting everything she'd wanted and worked so hard for. She would not be brought down today. Tomorrow maybe...but not today.

Bella arrived at the usual bar and noticed that she was the first one there. She sat at their usual spot and ordered a glass of tropical juice. It was quite early in the afternoon so she didn't want to drink anything alcoholic. Altogether, she wasn't really a big fan of alcohol either way; she'd had one major incident with alcohol that had put her right off.

It had been about 2 years ago and she had been feeling depressed so Alice had forced her out of the house and taken her to a club. They'd met up with Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett there and the night begun smoothly and with no forewarning of what was to come.

Alice begun to shove a couple of shots of vodka down Bella's throat insisting that they would help her to feel relaxed and happy. Well, that's what it did for most people but apparently not for Bella. She remembered having 6 or 7 shots before everything began to go haywire. She not only climbed on top of the bar and began stripping until Emmett dragged her off, she then proceeded to buy stranger's drinks to celebrate her shitty life.

Then her mood drastically flipped in a matter of seconds and she cried to and on everybody she came across and then as she rushed to the bathroom to throw up – she banged her head on the wall and accidently collided with a waitress serving drinks. One of the glasses crashed on her leg and Bella, unable to hold her drinks down anymore, three up all over the floor.

Yep – alcohol was not for her.

After fifteen minutes, Jasper and Alice arrived, their hands intertwined lovingly as they finally reached Bella. Alice hugged Bella fiercely.

"Congratulations B. I know how much you wanted this," Alice said.

Jasper was next; he gave her a hug just as strong and actually longer than Alice's.

"Congrats Bell." They all sat down and Alice and Jasper ordered their drinks.

"So where are Emmett and Rose?" Bella asked, passing a hand through her long brown hair to smooth it down. Alice threw a quick look at Jasper, but Bella caught it. She knew them far too well not to notice something even as small as that.

"What? What are you two hiding?" Bella asked suspiciously.

"Nothing!" Alice said far too quickly. Bella tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. Alice couldn't have been more obvious. She should have known better than to answer like that when Bella was on to her. Alice looked at Jasper but he shrugged his shoulders as if to say "not involved."

"Alright. It's nothing that bad, we just didn't see the need to say it," Alice paused but Bella said nothing waiting for her to continue. "Alright, alright. Emmett and Rose went to pick up Edward from the airport. He's moving back."

For a moment, her heart stopped beating. For a moment, her lungs no longer produced air. For a moment, the world froze. The last time she'd even spoken to Edward was 3 years ago, when he'd demanded that she abort her baby. He'd spoken to her like she'd gotten pregnant on purpose because she wanted his money and his fame.

Since that day, Edward hadn't called. Not even to ask whether Bella was really keeping it or not and deep down that was what hurt her the most – the fact that he really didn't care. Many people often believe that the opposite of love is hate. But it's not. The opposite of love, the thing that hurts more than hate, is indifference. For somebody to not even care whether you are dead or alive. That hurts.

Bella finally realised that Jasper was rubbing her back and Alice was calling her name.

"What?" she asked once she returned to the current situation.

"I said are you going to be okay?" Alice asked worriedly.

"Yeah, of course. I'll be fine. It's not like I'm going to see him again anyways. Florida is big enough, isn't it? Anyways let's celebrate my new job, that's what we're here for!" Bella quickly changed the subject as she didn't want to talk about Edward anymore. Alice and the others hadn't really mentioned Edward since he'd moved away to New York 2 years ago to continue his music career there. Bella hadn't asked anything either.

Sometimes she wanted to. Even with the amount of pain he'd caused her, she sometimes still wondered how he was and what he was doing. But most of all, she wondered why he changed so suddenly. She wanted to know why he'd been such a dick to her.

But she couldn't ever ask him. Because asking him would mean having to talk to him and that wasn't something she was ready to do – ever.

Because no matter how much she loved him in the past, there is nothing he could say or do to ever make her forgive him.

Her feelings for Edward had died the day her baby boy died.

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**Hey guys! I know not much happened in this chapter but it was a necessary chapter so that you guys could see how Bella feels about what happened. **

**Also to warn you guys that Edward is coming!!! Review pleaseee. Without your reviews I don't feel inspired to write. Lol.**


	3. Mistakes For Lack Of Thinking

**Hey people! I am absolutely in love with you all for your reviews! Thank you soooo much! Love you love you love you! Lol. (Ok Iris, stop kissing arse now! That's my name by the way – Iris. Hi! and I'm from London that's why I said 'arse' lol)**

**Anywhooooo on to business! I got a couple of questions and comments to answer!**

**To ****Ch3RrY-ChiHa**** – hey girl! Thanks so much for reading my story and just wanted to tell you that you have nothing to worry about, Bella is not the type of girl to cry over everything and let Edward get away with murder. She's a strong girl!**

**To ****Edward's-a-beefcake**** – Love your username by the way! Lol. In a short answer to your question about the abortion thing um... I think this was partly my mistake because in the UK abortion is legal until 24 weeks but I don't know how long it's allowed in the US and I found out that you can learn the sex of the baby from as early as 12 weeks so I don't know whether the website I went on was lying to . Just wanted to clear that up anyways. And trust me Edward was not the reason for Bella getting an abortion – but you'll have to find out why she did later!! Thanks so so much for reading and I hope I answered some of your questions.**

**Hope you all like this chapter. I had fun writing it! Thanks for reading! xxxxx**

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**Chapter 3**

"I just don't understand why he died!" Bella cried unhappily. "He was the best character in the whole movie. He was funny, merciful and weird – all the qualities that a good character should have! They just got rid of him of 'coz they were jealous of his good looks!" she crossed her arms and pouted like a child being denied candy.

"Bella he was the villain!" Emmett exclaimed in desperation. They'd been having this argument since the movie ended – half an hour ago!

"So what? Villains don't have hearts too? Do they not bleed? Do they not hurt?" Bella shouted. By now, Emmett and her had stood up and were facing each other and shouting their views while Jasper, Alice and Rosalie laughed hysterically on the couch.

"The Joker is supposed to go! He's Batman's arch enemy and he was evil! How can you say he was merciful? He killed most of the people in the freaking movie!"

"Yes well at least he did it quickly so that they wouldn't feel pain!" Bella retorted passionately. She'd always had a huge crush on Heath Ledger and every time she watched the film she felt the need to defend him. Her rational side knew that Emmett was right but there was no way she would tell him that.

"They didn't feel pain?! He slashed their faces! How can that not be painful? You're just defending him because it was Heath Ledger; if it was anyone else you wouldn't be saying that!" Well, he got her there. That was true and as she struggled to find an argument to that, Emmett knew he had her and exclaimed a victorious "Ha!" in her face.

"He was pretty," Bella pouted even more. Now the group was laughing even more. Well, at least they got a laugh out of her embarrassment.

Alice had organised a movie night since they hadn't been all together for a couple of weeks now. They had already watched The Dark Knight before but couldn't resist watching it yet again; it was just such a great film and no matter what Emmett said about not really watching it for Heath Ledger – they all knew he did. Without Heath Ledger as the joker they wouldn't have watched the film so many times, they damn sure wouldn't have watched it to see Christian Bale's lacking performance as Batman.

Emmett was still doing his victory dance, which looked suspiciously similar to Beyonce's 'crazy in love' choreography, when Rosalie slapped him over the head and told him to quit it. Bella laughed and began clearing out the bowls of left-over popcorn and the cups on the table. She took them into the kitchen and began sorting them into the dishwasher. Her kitchen wasn't very large. It was slightly small, with only a small wooden table to accommodate four people. Her entire apartment could be describes as small but cosy but Bella didn't mind. She preferred things that weren't extravagant and as long as they suited her taste, she was happy.

"You don't have to do that Alice I've got it," Bella stated as Alice walked into the kitchen holding the rest of the dishes in her hands but Alice just waved her away.

"Oh come on B, it's not like I'm giving you a kidney, it's just dishes. So anyways how's your new job going? Any interesting guys there? Is your boss a bitch? Fill me in on the gossip." Alice always knew just how to get a person talking – bombard them with so many questions that they have to answer at least one. But that was just Alice, always interested in what was going on with other people. Always wanting to solve people's problems because she couldn't stand watching a friend get hurt.

The only problem of always listening to other people is that sometimes it was a cover for her own problems and Bella had always felt like she talked about herself a lot more than Alice talked about herself, which made Bella feel a bit self-centered at times. But Alice would never hear it; she always asked about Bella and wouldn't leave it until Bella told her every detail of her day. You had to love the girl's stubbornness.

"Oh God Alice I just love it! It's so interesting. It's hard work but that's what makes it so great – it's challenging. The people are alright, I haven't really had a lot of time to get to know them well but I don't mind. My boss is definitely strict but I guess that's what it takes to run a good magazine. So yeah...is there anything else you want to know? My blood type? When my period's coming?" Bella snickered as Alice's eyebrows furrowed and she gave Bella a stern look.

"See this face," Alice pointed at her own face "Not funny." She tried to keep up the appearance but began laughing along with Bella after a few seconds. Rosalie walked into the kitchen, looking absolutely stunning as always with her long blonde locks blowing as it there was a fan following her everywhere she went. Plus, the girl knew she was fabulous and was not afraid to show her fabulousness with her low cut, maroon, strappy top. In addition, the low cut jeans she was wearing were seriously skin-tight – it was a wonder that Emmett even had time to argue about Batman.

"What are you two giggling about in here?" she asked, putting a hand on her hip.

Alice and Bella slowly ceased their laughs and Alice even wiped a small tear from the corner of her eye.

"I don't think I even know," Alice replied, looking at Bella questioningly but Bella just shrugged. Alice and Bella both took a seat around the wooden kitchen table and Rosalie followed soon after.

"What are the boys up to in the living room?" Bella asked.

"Probably got the Playstation out or something. We don't have to worry about them for a while now," Rosalie answered, looking slightly bored whilst looking at her long, manicured nails.

"Well, I've got to tell you guys something and I guess now's the right time," Alice stated. Bella and Rosalie looked at Alice and waited for her to continue, curious as to what she was talking about. "Jasper and I are moving in together!" she announced excitedly, smiling widely.

Bella squealed and hugged Alice. Jasper and Alice had been together for so long and the rest of the gang had been wondering when they were going to finally move in together but Alice and Jasper had always simply stated that they would 'when the time was right'. Nobody really knew what that meant since they were so right for each other but didn't question them as Alice and Jasper had a very unique relationship. Only they knew what was right for them.

"Congratulations Al! I'm so happy for you!" Bella said, feeling truly happy for her friend.

"Finally! It took you a long time didn't it?" Rosalie said somewhat dryly but both Alice and Bella both knew she was happy for Alice; she just wasn't the type of girl to squeal and giggle in excitement. Also, Rosalie and Emmett had already moved in together about a year ago and so Rosalie had at many times, voiced her opinion on Alice and Jasper's slowness.

"Yes, I know but we knew it wasn't the time yet but it's finally come and it feels right! So girls...we're going to need your help moving my stuff to Jasper's," Alice said carefully. Rosalie and Bella looked at each other and sighed. They knew this was coming. They both dreaded helping Alice with her move, not because they were lazy but because they both knew that when Alice began to re-decorate Jasper's house it was going to be a whole week or two of hell.

"Don't give me those looks! I'm not _that_ bad!" Alice exclaimed and Rosalie and Bella snorted. She _was_ that bad.

But in the end, they both agreed to help Alice move in a couple of weeks. After everybody had left, Bella got in the shower. This was the place she went to when she wanted to relax and just think about the things that had happened to her lately. Nothing in specific, just her thoughts and feelings on matters which may not have any importance, but Bella always strived to discover herself and the only way she'd learnt to do that was to think carefully on how she felt about things and what affected her most. Sometimes, she even liked to think of herself as a deeply pensive person – someone who thought a lot about the various aspects of her life and life in general. She'd only become like this not too long ago; the various trials and tribulations she endured had caused her to think things through a lot, maybe too much sometimes but that couldn't be helped.

Bella would rather over think everything than make mistakes for lack of thinking.

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"Miss Swan, get in here please," Bella's boss, Rachel Anderson, called. She was a young woman, slightly too young to be at such a high position, but that thought was quickly discarded when the woman opened her mouth. Instantly, it was easy to see how she'd gotten so far so fast; she was strong, ambitious and ruthless when need be. She looked like she was 27 or 28 years old, with striking blue eyes and long black hair. Bella had even heard guys around the office whispering that she should be on the cover of the magazine, not the brains behind it.

Bella walked into her office quickly and wondered what her boss wanted with her. She was new and so hadn't had really even talked to her boss alone yet.

"Yes Miss Anderson?" Bella asked, hoping and praying to God that it wasn't bad news.

"I called you in here because you're next assignment is quite dear to me. I have some very close acquaintances and they were able to land me this amazing opportunity. Now, I wanted to talk to you privately because I respect these people very much and so I have to inform you that it is very important that this assignment is treated with the respect it deserves. You will be following a major artist for 2 weeks. He's very sought after right now so two weeks is a major deal. You will be following him and writing about him as a person, his habits, his routine and so on," Bella listened patiently as her boss talked, wondering who was so important that had her boss asking her all these things. "Do you understand?" she asked.

Bella nodded and felt a slight pressure being put on her. Obviously, this artist was extremely important and since this was Bella's first major assignment, she could not screw this up.

"Also, I just wanted to warn you because this artist has a few rumours about being quite arrogant and rude so whatever happens just take it."

_Just great. _Bella thought sarcastically. She had a really hard time with arrogant men who thought that the world revolved around them just because they were rich and famous. She also had a really hard time shutting her mouth when it came to things like this. She had a lot of pride but for the sake of her job, she had to swallow it.

"Yes, I completely understand and I'll do my best without a doubt," Bella assured, while her curiosity grew as to who her boss could be talking about. But the nerves were still winning over her curiosity.

"Alright then. You'll be starting next Monday, so any plans you may have will have to be put on hold. You will be allowed to continue at your house but during the days you will have to be stuck to his side like glue. Thank you, you can leave now." Her boss seemed to dismiss her out of the room and Bella still didn't know who the artist was.

"Um...sorry but may I know who the artist is?" she asked cautiously, not wanting to anger or annoy her highly unpredictable boss.

"Oh! Silly me, I completely forgot. It's Edward Cullen."

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**Oh No! What will Bella say? What will she do? So many questions arrrghhh! And you can only find out by reading more! Muah hahahaha! I am **

**So if you are liking this story and want to read more pleaseeee, pretty please do review. Only by reviewing can I get my inspiration boost to keep writing. **

**I really hope you liked this chapter! Tell me if you loved it, hated it, have ideas, anything! **

**Thanks sooo much! xxx**


	4. Memories

**Hey guys! Once again I cannot thank you enough for your reviews! **

**Just to clear this up – you lot will find out the reason behind Bella's abortion and then it will all make sense but you'll only find out when Edward finds out so please be patient it will all make sense then.**

**Also, it probably is conflict of interest that Bella is interviewing Edward but we'll see what happens and I think you'll understand.**

**And I'm so so sorry about the Joker thing. I could have sworn he died when he was hanging from that building! My bad! I will definitely change that a.s.a.p! Thanks for letting me know ****Cupcake1423****!**

**Thanks so much for your great reviews. Trust me they are highly appreciated!**

**Moving on to the story!**

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**Chapter 4**

Bella could swear that her heart physically stopped for a second. For a long time, she just stood there, frozen. Her boss hadn't yet noticed as she was busy looking at the paper work in front of her and probably assumed that Bella had already left. But no. Bella was still standing there, in the exact same spot that had suddenly turned a calm day into a day filled with confusion and anguish. Her breathing became slightly laboured and she lifted her fingers slightly to her throat as if it would help with her breathing.

Suddenly, she didn't know what to do. She'd had the whole day planned. She was going to finish work in about 3 hours and then pop down to the supermarket to buy the ingredients for the cake she wanted to bake on Saturday. Then, she would stop by the shop, not really with anything in mind; she'd just browse and see if there was anything she needed. And finally, she'd head home and cook a small dinner for herself and sit on her petite couch watching a programme which in no way affected her life but still roused deep emotions in her.

She had not scheduled Edward Cullen back into her life.

Maybe she'd heard wrong. Or maybe it was another Edward Cullen. Yeah, that was probably it; it was somebody else. There were plenty of Cullens and definitely a thousand Edwards in Florida. Right?

Oh who was she kidding – there was only one musician that was hot in the charts right now called Edward Cullen.

Bella had done everything she could possibly think of to avoid anything to do with Edward Cullen. She threw out everything in her house, including clothes and CDs that even reminded her of him. She burnt the cards and letters he'd given her over the years and threw away anything he'd even mentioned he liked in her apartment.

She didn't even buy magazines that had his name on them and avoided conversations about him. What more could she have done? Why was the universe trying to throw him back into her life when she'd dodged him this far?

Couldn't she just live the rest of her life in peace without having to hear about him or see him? How hard was it to avoid just _one_ person in the whole world?

Her boss finally looked up at Bella and frowned behind her glasses.

"Is there a problem Miss Swan?" she asked with an arched eyebrow and annoyed tone.

Bella thought to herself for a second. Should she tell her boss that she knew Edward? If she did, she probably wouldn't be allowed to do the story and she couldn't let that happen. This was her first major story in her dream job. She couldn't let her past affect her future. She would not let Edward ruin this for her. So what if she knew him a couple of years ago? She definitely didn't know him anymore. Especially not after the last conversation they'd had three years ago. He was not the same man she'd once loved.

Bella had made her decision. She was a professional; she wouldn't let this interfere with her job so there was no need to let her boss know about something that didn't even matter anymore. The story would only be taken away from her and given to someone who didn't even need it. That would be such a stupid thing to do; waste an opportunity like this over a man she didn't even know anymore.

"Nope. There is no problem," Bella said firmly and with that she walked away full of resolve.

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"Bella are you sure about this?" Alice asked as they walked down the street.

Bella had met Alice after work and they'd decided to go window shopping. Of course with Alice it was virtually impossible to _just_ window shop but Bella didn't mind right now. She was too nervous about the whole Edward situation. She'd just told Alice about her assignment and Alice was continuously trying to convince her not to do it.

"Of course I'm sure Al. I mean, I've already let Edward ruin my life way too much. I can't keep avoiding him anyways, not now that he's moved back." Bella ran a hand through her hair and sighed deeply for the thousandth time in one hour.

"I'm just saying B. This is really unnecessary. If you just tell your boss that you know Edward and therefore you can't do this assignment, you can always take the next one. Your boss will understand and if she finds out that you know him and didn't say anything...well she'll be pissed," Alice said coolly.

"I know Al but she won't find out and I think I need to do this. I can't run away anymore," Bella said dejectedly, looking at the floor trying to force the tears away from her eyes. She was not going to start crying in the middle of the street. And especially not over a guy that didn't give two-shits about her. She needed to be strong and professional about this. She could think of it as a sort of closure process. Yeah, exactly. That's what it was. Closure.

Alice turned to face her and stopped walking and put a hand on Bella's shoulder firmly.

"I'm just trying to protect you Bella. My brother can be a real dick and I don't want you two starting a war because even though I know he's in the wrong, he's still my brother."

According to what Bella knew of Alice and Edward's relationship since what happened three years ago, it wasn't much of a relationship anymore. Before all of that, Alice and Edward had the kind of brother-sister relationship that Bella envied. Edward was the big brother who always protected Alice from guys, although she really didn't need protecting. Alice was such a tiny girl but when she was angry, was scarier than Freddy Kruger on his worst day. Bella remembered one time while she and Edward were together that she had truly seen how strongly Edward and Alice cared for each other.

*****Flashback*****

_Bella was lying on Edward's chest, just breathing in his unique smell that she called 'the Edward smell' and listening to his heartbeat. His arms were wrapped around her waist. To anyone who walked in, this scene may have been slightly strange; they were just lying there, saying nothing. Not sleeping, not talking. Just lying there looking at nothing in particular, enjoying just being with each other. The room was silent and neither Bella nor Edward could say how long they'd been lying there because it seemed like it had been far too long yet not enough. _

"_Edward!" Alice shouted all the way from down stairs. Normally, Edward and Bella would have just ignored her and simply waited for her to find them but there was a certain desperation in Alice's voice that neither were accustomed to._

_Edward shot out of bed and grabbed his shirt from the foot of the bed and put it on. He turned to Bella with concerned eyes._

"_I'll be right back," he said and walked out of the room. Bella sat up and heard him running down the stairs. She slowly walked to the door and opened it just a little in time to see Alice walking up the stairs to meet Edward halfway, tears streaming out of her eyes and shaking tremendously. _

"_Alice what happened?" Edward asked worriedly, holding his sister by her shoulders. Alice sobbed and seemed to struggle to talk._

"_Daniel. I caught him with this girl from out school in bed. He – he told me that I we were over and that – that it was fun while it lasted," she hiccupped and sobbed harder into Edward's shoulder. Edward hugged his sister tightly and rubbed her back with one hand; his eyes intense and angry. He pulled back to look into Alice's eyes, love shining powerfully in them._

"_Listen to me Al, he never deserved you. Never. You are the most amazing woman I've ever met and you deserve the best guy there is. I'm so proud to call you my sister. Don't let this guy tear you down. If he doesn't see just how much he's lost then he is the biggest fucking retard I've ever met. You're so much better off without him and I know you'll meet someone who will see how much you're worth." Edward hugged her fiercely once again and just held her while she cried into his shoulder. They sat on the stairs, just hugging, for about an hour after that, yet Edward did not show any signs of being bothered._

_It was then that Bella fell even more in love with Edward. His love for his sister was so powerful that it nearly brought Bella to tears. She'd always only seen Edward and Alice playfully joking around or fighting but she had never seen the extent of their bond. _

*****End Flashback*****

Bella sighed as she shook the memories away. She still couldn't understand how that loving, caring Edward had turned into the cruel and spiteful man she'd last and Alice's relationship had not been the same since the abortion. Alice couldn't forgive her brother for the way he'd treated Bella and they hardly talked now. Since he'd moved away, they no longer talked on the phone or visited each other. Edward never went to any family gatherings as he was always busy with his career, so it meant that Alice and Edward no longer knew each other.

Bella had always felt somewhat guilty for the way Edward and Alice had grown so distant. She knew, of course, that it wasn't actually her fault. Alice had told her many times that it wasn't about her, it was about who Edward had become and Alice couldn't understand it. But Bella always wondered whether she should have tried harder or not told Alice the full extent of Edward's cruelty. Maybe that would have changed things.

Bella shook her head once again to try and step back into reality and not succumb to her memories and what ifs.

"Oh my God! We have to go in here!" Alice cried excitedly and pulled Bella into the store. The dresses inside were amazing, each one looked like it belonged on the red carpet. Of course, Bella already knew that the prices were also made for the red carpet.

Alice began skipping around the shop with a blinding smile on her face, grabbing more and more dresses.

"Alice I thought we were just going to window shop," Bella moaned. She knew she shouldn't have agreed to shop with Alice whether it was window or not. Anything with the word shop in it, in Alice's book meant shopping.

"Oh come B, how can you resist these dresses? They're calling out to us!" Alice exclaimed, running over to another dress she'd seen.

"Oh trust me, when I look at the prices, it's very easy to resist," Bella walked slowly, just scanning the clothes so that she wouldn't be completely bored.

"Oh come on live a little. You're not so broke that you can't afford even one, you're just stingy!" Alice laughed.

"I am not stingy! I just don't like to waste my money on something that I really don't need when I could spend it on something much more useful," She explained. Bella had always been a very practical person. Her father, Charlie, had always taught her the value of money and the hard work it took to be able to afford the things you wanted. He'd taught her that while it wasn't bad once in a while to treat yourself, it also wasn't necessary to splash your money on unneeded things and then wish you hadn't.

"Bella, you really need to act your age and live on the wild side a bit," Alice sighed in defeat.

**************************************

With each day that went by, Bella grew more and more nervous. By the time Monday arrived, she was a pile of nerves and regretting her decision.

Maybe Alice had been right. Maybe she should have just told her boss she couldn't do it and now she wouldn't feel as though her heart was threatening to jump out of her throat. _This was such a bad idea_, Bella thought as she walked down the long corridor which led to Edward. The walls were covered with his albums, posters and magazine covers. She felt like she was headed to her worst nightmare, which wasn't entirely untrue. She had never thought that she would see Edward again so she'd never had to worry about what she was going to say or do. But now...now she was three minutes away from facing the man who had left her for fame, accused her of pulling the pregnancy scam, and the told her to get an abortion.

Her heart raced with fury with each step she took. There was a piercing ringing in her ears and she had to struggle to keep breathing; she really felt like she was going to faint but pushed that thought out of her head, that was the last thing that could happen.

She'd even let Alice dress her so that she could look her best. She was wearing a knee length, slightly tight black skirt with a button up white shirt which made her look very professional yet still sexy. Her hair was left down and in waves and she'd even worn slightly high heels which right now were even harder to walk in due to her nerves. All in all, she thought she looked pretty damn good.

As she reached the door, she took a deep breath and knocked. She heard a very familiar, deep voice tell her to come in and she braced herself as she turned the handle and opened the door.

The first thing she saw, was Edward, sitting on a chair at the head of the table with a black button up shirt, slightly unbuttoned to offer only a sneak peek at what Bella knew firsthand, was a delicious chest. He wore lose black jeans and his hair was a perfect mess as always. His eyes were what nearly made Bella gasp. His piercing green eyes were looking at her with recognition and surprise but nevertheless intensely.

With courage she didn't know she had, Bella walked up to Edward and extended her hand out.

"I'm Isabella Swan," she said and hoped to God that he would play along or her job maybe on the line. Edward gave her a long hard stare and then smirked sexily. He took her hand in his and turned it so that he could kiss the top of it. Then he looked up and gave her a knowing smile.

"Nice to meet you Miss Swan."

* * *

**We finally meet Edward!**

**What did you think?? Pleasee tell me! Review Review Review!!!**


	5. From the Past

**Hey guys! So sorry that I took so long but I have exams starting this week so I have been studying my arse off! **

**Thanks to everybody once again for reviewing, especially those who review every chapter! Love you sooo much!! I got like 26 reviews or something for the last chapter which is definitely a record but I'd love so much more!**

**Please reviewwww!!! It really helpssss like I've said!**

**I also wanted to thank my Beta 'EdwardAddict' for helping me edit the first couple of chapters! There were a few minor changes I needed to make.**

**Oh and I have to say that for the next 2 weeks I will not be updating because I have exams like every day so please wish me luck! But after, I will be 100% into this story!**

* * *

Bella stared. All she could do was stare. She had been prepared for various reactions that Edward would have but this was not one of them. He'd kissed her hand and smiled (well smirked really) at her. What could he be thinking? He obviously knew that it was her.

She didn't look so different and there were not many Isabella Swans out there; there was no way he thought she was somebody else. Simply impossible. So why wasn't he demanding to know what was going on? Why had he kissed her hand?

He shouldn't have done it. The simply touch had sent her heart racing against her will. No matter how much hatred such held in her heart, her body still responded to his. There were some things that just don't change and her physical reaction to him had always been powerful.

Bella had thought that now, after all these years, her hatred would overpower any physical attraction she may have had but unfortunately one thing you could not control was chemistry and no matter how much she couldn't stand it, even she had to admit that the chemistry between her and Edward was undeniable.

He was obviously playing along with her pretence for now but she knew they would have to talk sometime. He would have questions about what she was doing here and she had to answer them unless she wanted to lose her job. _God he looks amazing! _Bella though but willed those thoughts away as they would not help her to keep her focus on the task at hand.

Edward slowly let her hand gently down while giving her an intense and thoughtful look yet that was all that Bella could decipher – Edward was very good at hiding his thoughts since he controlled his facial expression well. Bella released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding and straightened up her posture. With a determined look on her face, she sat down on the chair that Edward had pulled up for her.

At that moment, a slightly older man in blue jeans a white shirt with blue stripes, walked through the door. His brown hair, cut to a very short length and his lips pulled into a pleasant smile as he looked at Bella. He reached her and extended his hand to shake Bella's.

"I'm Richard Blake, Edward's manager. It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Swan. Please take a seat and I will explain to you the procedures."

Bella greeted him and took a seat, which happened to be facing Edward. He was still looking at her with a calculative expression on his face which unnerved her to no end. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably; the seat itself was comfortable but his scrutiny was not.

"Ok well. Let's start. Well I assume you know the basics Miss Swan, you will follow Mr Cullen for 1 week during gigs, meetings, basically anything music related. If he goes anywhere far enough that you can't get home then you will get a room in a hotel with expenses paid for. Well, you know the rest. All you have to do now really is sign these contracts stating that you must disclose all information to us that you intend to use on your article."

He handed Bella the papers to sign and she quickly gave them a read-through. Seeing that everything was correct, she signed and handed them back to the manager.

She ran a hand through her hair agitatedly and avoided looking at Edward yet could still feel his gaze burning into her. If he didn't stop staring soon, she was going to spontaneously combust. Richard Blake seemed to not notice the clear tension in the room and gave Bella another warm smile.

"Well, Miss Swan, I'll leave you and Mr Cullen to get acquainted but if there is anything you need don't be afraid to ask."

"I will, thank you very much and please call me Bella, Mr. Blake."

"Alright Bella, then you must also call me Richard. Take care." And with that, he left the room, leaving Bella still staring at the door, with fear to look back and see what Edward was doing. She felt her heart racing harder than ever before. She was afraid she going to start hyperventilating.

Suddenly, her fears increased tenfold as she felt a warm body behind her, standing too close for her comfort. She didn't move, frozen with panic and uncertainty. A warm breath passed on her neck as Edward began to speak.

"You look good Isabella," he whispered into her ear, "Trying to seduce me?"

At this, Bella regained her strength and turned to face him with a heated expression. That was slightly a bad move because now his smell was even more powerful, overwhelming all her senses but she fought to maintain her control. 'The Edward smell'; the smell that had brought her to her knees for so many years and still continued to have its effect on her.

"I'm here because I was assigned to this. Believe me when I say that this was not my choice," Bella said forcefully, looking straight into his eyes to show him the truth which her eyes held. However, he smirked and took a strand of Bella's hair and twirled it in his fingers.

"I don't care what you're here for but we might as well have some fun since you are. You know – for the good old days."

Bella was torn between lust and loathing. Part of her wanted to let out all her frustration by kissing him but the other part wanted to punch him in the face. How could he say these things to her after all he'd done? Bella pushed his hand away from her and took a step back.

"I'd appreciate it if we could be professional about this and not bring up the past?" She looked straight into his eyes and refused to break eye contact so as to show him that she was being meant business. Even if she didn't feel so confident, he had to believe that she was.

She had to control the shivers she got from being so close to him, the fast beat of her heart which was making her light-headed. She just had to ignore all of it.

Edward smirked at her then slowly his eyes made their journey from her toes, passing her thighs, stopping at her chest for far too long and all the way back to her eyes. It was slow torture; his deep eyes penetrating into hers for what seemed to be the longest ten seconds of her life.

"Whatever you say Isabella. Whatever you say."

Bella ignored his last comment, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and took out her notepad. She bit her lip slightly as she looked over the notes she'd made to remind her of things to ask him.

When she looked up she wished she hadn't. Edward was looking at her lips with an expression which she knew very well, an expression she'd seen many times just before he grabbed and kissed her. His eyes were hooded with lust and Bella took a step back.

She knew very well what he was about to do and she would be damned if she let him. Edward to a step forward and Bella quickly took another step back. But it seemed as though Edward didn't even seem to care as he began to walk towards her and Bella contemplated running away but realised that wouldn't help; they'd just be playing a game of catch and she really wasn't in the mood.

She put her hand out to his chest and Edward just stopped there, not taking her hand of his chest and still looking at her lustfully.

"I'm going to say this once Edward. I'm not here to play games with you nor am I here in some pathetic attempt to seduce you or whatever you think I'm trying to do. I honestly don't give a damn what you think. I don't give a shit about you anymore and I want you to know that I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You killed a part of my soul that I will never get back so don't come in here and pretend that nothing happened three years ago because we both know what you did and for that I will never forgive you. I'm here to do my job and that is it so I'd appreciate it if you could let me do that in peace."

Edward's face suddenly seemed shocked and even somewhat guilty. Or maybe she was only imagining it. Bella dropped her hand from his chest and waited for his response. If he continued to act like a dick then she would have to give up this assignment because she didn't think she could take Edward acting like that every single day for a week.

Edward sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked like he was about to say something but then he simply frowned and walked out of the door, leaving Bella to wonder what the hell was going through his mind.

* * *

Bella was currently sitting in a bar, feeling extremely uncomfortable. She was watching Edward rehearse one of his songs, and all the while he kept his gaze on her. No matter how much she looked away or frowned at him, his gaze remained on her.

The song was about breaking up with a girl and telling her that they were better off that way. Edward was singing about a girl who had lied about everything and hating that he'd let it happen because he'd loved her so much.

Bella wondered if he'd written this song about anyone in specific. And if this song was about a girl he'd loved and had crushed him, who was he talking about? When had he met her? Was it before her? No, it couldn't have been because Edward had told her about all his past relationships and he's never mentioned a girl breaking his heart.

This was probably about a girl after her. Well, at least now he knew what it felt like to have his heart broken. It was the same thing he'd done to her – but worse.

Edward finished his song and took his guitar off his shoulder and set it down on the stool beside him. Bella felt enormous relief now that rehearsal was finally over because it meant that she wouldn't have to put up with Edward's intense gaze on her.

He was acting like she was the one who did something wrong. Like she was the one who had left him for fame and money and then proceeded to tell him to have an abortion and never speak to him again. No – he had done all those things, not her. So why did he keep glaring at her?

Maybe he just hated her that much. Maybe he was angry that he had to put up with her for an entire week. After all, he had been the one to break up with her and then cut all ties with her so why _would_ he be happy that she was back in his life again?

Oh well, she was only doing her job; he'd have to put up with it for now. She'd be out of his life again in a week anyways.

Edward jumped off the stage and walked towards her. She still couldn't believe how he'd much he'd grown since the last time she saw him. He looked like a man. He'd always been an amazing creature anyways but now...he was so much more.

He came to stand in front of her and he was nearly a whole head taller than her, forcing her to look up as she talked to him.

"I'm heading over to meet some of my friends, you can go home now," he said curtly.

"Actually part of the assignment is to be with you when you are in a social situation so I do have to go," Bella said with as much finality as him.

Edward sighed, annoyed and passed an agitated hand through his hair.

"Fine."

He took his black, leather jacket from a chair and headed towards the door in a fast pace, as if trying to leave her behind. Bella inwardly scoffed. _As if he's going to make me screw this up_, she thought and started speed walking to catch up to his long strides.

As they reached an extravagant-looking club, Bella opened the door and purposely didn't hold it open so that it nearly hit Edward in the face as he walked in behind her. He scowled at her but she just smiled and said a very fake 'sorry, didn't see you there'.

As they reached Edward's table, Bella saw a handful of Edward's friends, including two which she recognised. The first greeted her with a wide, friendly smile.

His name was Jacob Black. He'd always been Edward's friend although they hadn't been that close when Edward and Bella had been dating because Jacob had a slight crush on Bella. Edward had always been majorly jealous because Bella and Jacob actually really got on since the first moment they met.

Jacob had always been a pretty bulky kid but now he'd grown even taller if that was possible and even more muscular; the guy seemed to have an addiction for working out. He stood up from the table and rushed to hug Bella tightly.

"Uh, Jake, breathing issue here!" Jacob quickly let her go and his smile grew.

"Beautiful Bella, where have you been? It's been years!" he exclaimed. Bella cringed at the nickname he'd given her on the first day they had been introduced. She hated that nickname; it always made her blush which only encourage Jacob to say it more often.

"I'm doing good Jake. How have you been?" Bella smiled pleasantly at him. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad; at least she'd had Jacob to keep her entertained.

"Eh, you know just been working out and stuff, you know how it is being so sexy. This doesn't just _happen_ you know." He flexed one of his biceps and Bella laughed. This was why she'd always gotten along with Jacob; he just exuded happiness and confidence which made her feel at ease.

The second friend, which Bella recognised was James. However, unlike Jacob, James didn't make her feel at ease. On the other hand, he made he feel extremely queasy.

James stood up and also moved to hug Bella. As he hugged her, Bella felt uncomfortable; she and James had never been close enough friends to hug. They'd actually only said hi to each other a few times.

"Hello, James," Bella said once he'd let her go.

"Nice to see you again Isabella," Bella shuddered inwardly.

Edward cleared his throat and for the first time since they arrived, Bella remembered he was there.

"Now that everybody's finished getting reacquainted, can we order some drinks?" Edward snarled.

Jacob made way for Bella to sit down right next to him. Bella looked at Edward who seemed to be scowling at Jacob. She recognised that scowl; it was the same one he had on his face when they'd been going out and Jacob had flirted with her.

Oh well. They weren't going out anymore.

"So what are you doing here Bella?" Jacob asked excitedly, looking down at her with his brown eyes.

"I'm writing an article on Mr. Cullen here, so I have to follow him around for a week."

"That's cool, so that means that we can hang out! We need to catch up," he stated, seriousness in his eyes. Bella guessed that he wanted to know what happened between Edward and her which meant that Edward hadn't filled him in.

Bella hadn't noticed the girl sitting down. She was beautiful – really beautiful, like she'd walked right out of Vogue. Before Bella could even realise what had happened, the girl walked over to Edward and gave him a long kiss him on the mouth. Bella felt her stomach drop.

"Baby, I missed you. What took you so long?" the girl said to Edward.

"Rehearsal ran long. Missed you too," Edward replied. He turned to Bella and smirked, "Bella, this is my girlfriend, Tanya."

* * *

**So, a couple of more characters introduced! I know some people hate Jacob but I really like him as Bella's friend! So you'll have to put with up nice Jacob in this story! Sorry!**

**Thanks for reading! Hope you liked! The song I was talking about is called 'Goodbye' by Secondhand Serenade.**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!**


	6. Spring Cleaning

**Hello all!! Long time no see huh?**

**So so so sorry it took so long to update but exams are finally over and I can actually focus on this story 100%! My exams went OK, I think...let's pray!lol**

**I LOVED all of your reviews by the way!!**

**I have to say a hugeee thank you to AliceinDarkland for wanting to translate this story into Spanish! And now loads of people are reading it in Spanish as well, so thanks!!**

**Thanks once again to all my faithful reviewers!! I think we got about 33 reviews for last chapter which was definately better but come on people! Let's aim higher! lol**

**I did a longer chapter for you lot for making you wait so long! **

**Ok, I'll shut up now.**

**On to the story! Hope you like!!!**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Bella stared at the jaw-dropping gorgeous girl beside Edward. Tanya. What a stupid name. Edward's girlfriend. Why did she have to be so beautiful – it made Bella look even more like the plain Jane that she really was.

Tanya literally looked like she'd just stepped out of Vogue...wait...she did. Tanya Denali, that's where Bella had seen her face before, on the Vogue cover last month. The girl was one of the top supermodels in the country right now.

Of course Edward would be the one to date her – he himself looked like he'd stepped out of a magazine. Bella looked at the pair and realised they looked perfect together, like they belonged together.

Bella quickly shook those thoughts from her head when she realised she was slightly jealous.

But why should she be? She didn't want Edward anymore. What he'd done to her was unforgivable...so why was she wishing that she was the one with her head on his shoulder?

She realised she was still looking at them and everyone was waiting for her reaction.

"It's nice to meet you Tanya," she said curtly. Tanya looked at her up and down and then with an eyebrow raised said, "I'm sure."

* * *

The rest of the night went by without much input from Bella's part. She remained quiet and just watched which was what her job was of course – just watching and taking mental notes.

Of course the fact that Jacob was there made things much easier and she had someone to make her feel at ease, but she still couldn't forget that this was an assignment.

By the near end, Bella was still watching Tanya with Edward. The way she clinged onto him and did everything he told her too. Bella knew Edward too well to know that he hated girls like that.

But then again, things change. People change.

There was once a time in her life when she would have sworn that she and Edward would have gotten married. When they were dating, it really did seem as if they were perfect for each other. Some would even call it – soul mates.

But no. That was just another teenage fantasy that Bella had naively believed. She and Edward weren't soul mates. There was no such thing as soul mates. Soul mates are something that people make up so that you can continue to hope.

Hope that one day you'll find that one person who will make your whole life worth living. That one person who will worship and adore you no matter what.

It's like believing in happily ever after. Do people every really think about what happens after the princess rides away with the prince? Do they have children? Do they have jobs? Do they have arguments and suddenly things don't seem so happy anymore?

Happily ever after is only in fairytale stories for a reason. It is simply a fairytale.

Bella was jogged back into reality when Jacob nudged her on the shoulder.

"Hey, Bells, you ok?" His handsome face filled with concern.

"I'm fine, just wondering off."

"Do you wanna come outside for a minute, get some fresh air?"

Bella nodded, "Yeah sure."

Jacob got up and held Bella's hand in his to help her up from the seat. As they began to walk away, Edward suddenly spoke.

"You finally leaving huh?" he said, his eyes narrowed.

"I'm taking Bella to get some fresh air, why the hell do you care?" Jacob spat, all of a sudden looking intimidating.

"I'd watch who you're talking to Jacob." Edward stood up from the table and Jacob made a move forward.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Bella intervened quickly and grabbed Jacob's arm.

"Jake, let's just go outside." Jacob gave one last look at Edward and slowly turned to followed Bella outside.

It was still warm out so the summer breeze hit Bella welcomingly. She sat on the small stairs in front of the bar and waited for Jacob to take a seat next to her.

"What the hell was that all about Jake?"

Jacob sighed and shook his head.

"It's just Edward being the idiot he always is. I swear if I hadn't known the guy since I was ten I wouldn't even stay in the same room as him."

Bella nodded and looked down at the floor. So many things were going through her head. How things changed. Two weeks ago she would have sworn that she would never see Edward again and now here she was.

Jacob turned to face Bella with a serious expression

"Bella, tell me what happened with him. You two used to be like the perfect couple and then all of a sudden I never saw you with him anymore."

"What did Edward tell you?"

"Nothing. All he said was that he was doing some 'spring cleaning' on his life. Whatever that means."

Bella sighed and once again dragged her memories back to three years ago. What could have happened for Edward to hate her so much? Literally, one minute they were happy and the next...she just couldn't understand.

"I don't know Jake. I really don't know. Edward changed as soon as he got his record deal and from then on he only got worst. You wouldn't even imagine the things he did."

"Tell me, please."

Bella looked into Jacob's eyes and no matter how much she knew that she could tell him...there was still a part of her that hated even remembering that it happened. She'd never needed to tell someone the entire story from beginning to end.

Alice had already known half of the story and then lived the rest with Bella. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper only knew because they were Bella's closest friends and even then Bella had asked Alice to tell them because she couldn't face reliving it.

"Give me some time Jake. I can't talk about it right now." Bella's eyes began to fill with tears but she held them back with all her strength. She'd promised herself not to ever cry about this again but it was so hard when she still woke up every day with the memories replaying every second.

Jacob seemed to understand and hugged Bella silently, not asking anymore questions.

"I understand. Hey, do you think you're ready to go back in there and face the beast?" Bella laughed and nodded, taking Jacob's hand as he pulled her to her feet.

* * *

As soon as Bella reached her apartment she collapsed on the couch and sighed heavily. Her eyes strayed to the ceiling, looking at nothing in particular. Her mind felt like it had just sat through a five hour maths test.

She was tired. Emotionally tired. Seeing Edward again still seemed surreal; like it had all been a dream – well it was more like a nightmare.

Sitting through all those hours with Edward and Tanya making out like nobody was around was exhausting. If she had to hear Tanya's sickeningly sweet voice for one more second she would no doubt go insane.

How could Edward have asked her to relive 'the good old days' when he had a girlfriend? Is that who he had turned into now? One of those celebrities that thought they could get away with anything just because they were famous?

That was not the Edward she once knew.

****************FLASHBACK*********************

"Edward! Put me down right now!" Bella squealed as Edward picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"I told you not to call Eddiekins ever again! You pushed your luck babe." He laughed as he walked up the stairs and into his room. Bella continuously slapped him on the back but he didn't even flinch.

"Alright then Eddiekins, I won't call you that ever again."

"That's it woman! You're going down!" Edward threw her onto the bed and began tickling her sides.

"Edward stop! You're gonna make me pee!" Bella laughed uncontrollably while Edward continued tickling her mercilessly.

"Edward is the king. Say it."

"I can't!"

"Say it!"

"Alright, alright! Edward is the king." Edward stopped tickling her and lay on top of her while they both struggled to regain their breaths.

"See, that wasn't so hard now was it?" he whispered, looking into her eyes and tucking a strand of her behind her ear. Bella panted and looked up at him. She took in his green eyes brightened with excitement and his hair that was even messier than usual now. He was breathtaking. She still couldn't believe how she'd gotten so lucky.

"What you thinking about?" Edward whispered as he looked down at her with soft eyes.

"You," she whispered back.

He leaned down and kissed Bella softly on the lips. Pulling back for a moment, he looked at her once again before leaning down and tracing his tongue over her lips slowly.

Bella bit back a moan and opened her lips. She waited with eyes closed before she slowly felt his lips coming into contact with hers.

His lips were soft and warm moving against her own. He was slow at first but then picked up an urgent pace as his tongue slipped through his mouth and came into contact with hers.

Bella could no longer hold back and moaned as their tongues set a frenzied rhythm and his hand made its way from her hips, to her stomach and up to the side of her breast.

"Edward," she whispered into his mouth and ran her hands through his hair. She tugged slightly and it was Edward's turn to moan. Edward's free hand moved to her hip and gripped it firmly.

She felt like she was in paradise. This was what she'd been waiting for. All these months that they'd been dating she'd always felt like he was holding back. Like he was scared to do anything because it might break her.

This was what she'd always wanted; for Edward to treat her like a woman. She might be young but she knew what he'd been like with his past girlfriends. She'd been friends with him long enough to know that Edward didn't just hold hands with his girlfriends.

Although she obviously didn't want to be a sex toy to him, she did want him to feel passion and lust for her, like she did for him.

His hands going inside her shirt and up her stomach, jogged her back to the present moment. She shouldn't be drifting off like that; she had the most gorgeous and perfect guy on top of her.

His hands went to her breasts and her eyes rolled back into their sockets. He began flicking his fingers over nipples while he continued kissing and licking her neck.

But when his other hand went to undo the buttons on her jeans, Bella knew it was time to stop. She tapped Edward lightly on the shoulder but he was too absorbed in her neck to notice.

"Edward," she whispered, shaking him lightly. His finger continued their path to her underwear and Bella shook him harder.

"Edward, stop."

When his fingers came into contact with her clit, Bella gasped and pushed Edward off her. He fell back onto the foot of the bed, breathing hard and looking at her dazed. His eyes wild and confused.

"I think...we should...stop," she struggled to say and she tried to catch her breath. Her breasts were still exposed and Edward's eyes strayed towards them. Bella quickly pulled her bra up and her shirt down.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away," his voice was rough and coarse. His breath was still laboured but his gaze seemed more focused.

"It's ok. I just thought it would be better to stop before we couldn't. I'm just not ready for that yet." Bella whispered.

She didn't really know what to do now. She did know that Edward's past girlfriends had all been somewhat 'experienced'. But she wasn't. Maybe Edward wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't willing to give it up.

They both sat there in silence for what seemed to be forever; both deep in their own thoughts.

Finally, Edward moved up the bed to sit beside Bella.

"I am sorry Bella."

"For what?" Bella couldn't understand. Yes, she had stopped him but it didn't mean that she hadn't liked what he was doing.

"For taking it too far."

"Trust me Edward, we were both too blame," Bella said with a small smile on her face, blushing slightly as she remembered what had just occurred on this bed.

Edward smiled too and brought her head to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I just don't want you to feel pressured. I'll wait as long as you want."

"I know. I just don't want you to feel forced to stay with me. I understand that men have 'needs' and if you feel that you can't wait then just let me know." Even as she said it, Bella couldn't imagine living her life without him now. But if that was what he wanted, then what could she do?

"Bella, you don't need to worry about me, I'll be fine. And when or if you ever want to, you know, with me then I'll be the happiest guy on earth. You're worth waiting for."

************************END FLASHBACK*******************************

Bella sighed as her ringtone jogged her back into the present. She got up and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey B! What you doing?"

"Hey Alice. I just got back from hell."

Bella filled Alice in on what had happened with the first day of her assignment. She told her about Jacob, Edward and Tanya but left out the part of Edward hitting on her. For some reason, she didn't want to make Edward look even worse than he already did. Besides, Edward's was Alice's brother and their relationship was bad enough already.

"Well, at least that's one day over, only six left to go." Alice said in a consoling tone.

"I know. I just don't know how I can last much longer if I'm already ready to pull out my hair."

"Well, I can't help with Edward but I can cheer you up by having a dinner tomorrow!" Alice said happily.

"Yeah, I guess that would cheer me up."

"And also, you can bring Jacob! I haven't seen him in forever so it would give us all a chance to catch up!"

"Alright Al, I'll ask him if he wants go."

"No, you tell him he needs to come! Tell him Alice is ordering him to! I don't want any excuses. I think Jacob knows me well enough to know what I'll do to him if he doesn't show up!"

Bella laughed and told Alice she would do everything in her power to get Jacob to come. With that promise, she hung up the phone and her mind drifted to the conversation with Jacob.

Maybe she should tell him. Maybe it was time to let someone know. She'd been trying to ignore it for so long now, maybe it would help to get it off her chest and Jacob was definitely the best person for the job.

* * *

Bella woke up to the sound of someone banging on her front door. She looked at the clock beside her and saw that it was four o'clock in the morning.

Who the hell would be knocking on her door at this time?

She got up from the bed forgetting that she was only wearing shorts and a small vest top. Right now, she was too tired to even try and look for her robe.

She opened her front door and came face to face with Edward standing outside.

"Edward? What the hell are you doing here?" Bella said, shocked.

Edward stumbled in to her house and walked into the living room. He plopped down onto her couch and then looked at her with a drunken expression on his face.

"Are you drunk?!" Bella shouted. She couldn't believe him! He was an utter idiot to her at the bar and then he shows up at her house in the middle of the night, drunk.

"Can you tell me what the hell you want? I was sleeping!"

Bella stared, frozen as he got up from the couch and made his way to stand in front of her. She was wondering what he was going to do next as he stood in front of her silently, just looking at her.

Before she could question him once again, he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her roughly on the lips.

* * *

**Hey, I hope you all enjoyed the little cliffhanger there! I promised next time I won't take so long to update...if you keep reviewing!! **

**I was sitting on my bed writing this chapter when I thought of a little poem and thought it would be cool to show 's just stupid but I love it!**

**Dearest Rob,  
You sexy heartthrob,  
I've never seen a guy like you before,  
I just really hope you don't snore,  
But even if you do it doesn't matter,  
You still make me melt like butter,  
Some people say you smell,  
But I'd still cuddle you like hell,  
I just saw your chest the other day,  
Maybe you'll get to see mine someday,  
I hope one day we'll get to meet,  
Because I can already feel the heat!**


	7. Misguided Truth

**Hey everyone!! OMG thanks soooo much for ALL of your reviews.I loveeeee youuu!lol.**

**In this chapter you'll finally get to see a bit of why Edward is being such a bastard! Finally the truths begin to unravel! **

**There were so many reviews for the last chapter asking for Edward to be physically hurt so...let's see what happens!**

**I have to say, one review made me laugh hysterically which was from YankeeDiva saying that "Being referred to as any guys "Spring Cleaning" is like instant birth control!". And I have to say I agree!! lol.**

**I really really hope you guys like this chapter because it was actually quite hard for me to write.**

**As always pleaseee continue your reviews they help soooo much you have no idea!!**

**I'd also like to thank my Beta EdwardAddict for helping me a lot and so quickly too! Thank you for the encouragement as well!!x**

**On with the story!**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Just for a second, Bella forgot about everything. The past, the present, and the future no longer existed. It was just Edward and Bella.

There were no thoughts about their past relationship. There were no thoughts on their break up and no thoughts on the baby that could have been.

There was just Edward and Bella.

Edward's tongue was provoking indescribable sensations in her body. His tongue was in her mouth caressing her own and his hands gripped her waist fiercely. She could taste the rum in this mouth but completely forgot due to the distraction his mouth brought.

Bella struggled to breath as Edward lips moved harder against hers. He grabbed the bottom of her vest top and removed it from her body in one swift pull. Bella's hands moved into Edward's hair for only a second before moving to his shirt and tugging it roughly from his body. Their movements were urgent and frantic, discarding every fabric in their path until they were both bare.

His hands moved up and down her sides roughly, taking in every inch of her body. He once again gripped her hips and pulled them into his, letting her feel his hardness against her body.

"I'm gonna fuck you hard Isabella." Edward whispered into her mouth.

Bella's eyes shot open as she realise what she was doing. Edward's mouth was still moving against hers and she did nothing.

What was she thinking?! This was Edward! Edward, the one who wanted to her to kill her baby! The one who dumped her when he became famous. The one who had thought she was a gold-digging bitch.

Before she knew what was happening, her reflexes kicked in and she kneed Edward hard between his legs. Edward groaned and put his hands between his legs, cupping the bruised region.

"What the fuck?!" he shouted and he kneeled on the floor, maintaining his hands between his legs.

Bella quickly put on her clothes and then picked up Edward's and shoved them in his face.

"Get out," Bella said in a low, and surprisingly, calm tone.

Edward seemed to have recovered slightly and slowly began putting his jeans on, flinching when they touched his sore area. He stood up fully and looked at Bella. His face filled with anger and frustration.

"Isn't this what you wanted? To be with a superstar? Here you have it baby," he said with a cruel smirk. His chest still remained uncovered and Bella picked up his shirt and threw it in his face. Edward seemed to have sobered up now from the hit on his groin.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," she hissed.

"Oh, don't I? Why don't you fill me in then? I mean, you act like I was the evil one who ruined your life? You turned all of my family and friends against me. Come on, you're the innocent, saint Bella who can do no wrong, tell me what you're talking about!" he demanded.

"You really don't know Edward? You really have no idea what you did huh? You're that clueless?"

Edward remained silent just waiting for her to continue. He folded his arms against his chest and his expression once again became controlled; something he did whenever he wanted to remain detached.

"Alright then, I'll tell you. You dumped me when you got famous, then you completely cut me out of your life and then I found out I was pregnant and you told me to abort it! That's what you fucking did wrong Edward! Are you fucking happy now, I said it!" Bella shouted.

She couldn't believe Edward was making her do this, making her go through this. He had to be fucking blind not to know what he'd done, so why was he making her say it? Bella shut her eyes tightly to prevent the tears from escaping when suddenly she heard a laugh. Snapping her head up, she saw Edward laughing cruelly and shaking his head in disbelief.

"So is that the story you tell people? That I was the evil one who did all those things? Why don't you tell them what really happened Isabella? Huh? Tell them your part in story and we'll see what they'll think of you then."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, so now the tables have turned? You don't know huh? Want me to fill you in?" Edward waited a moment for Bella to reply but continued when she remained silent. "Alright then. Why don't you tell people that you were ecstatic when I became rich? Why don't you tell them about your little plan to tell me you were pregnant and then marry me for my money? The old trick of the baby huh? I have to say, I never thought you'd be one to try and pull that shit on me. You were always so naive and innocent, I never saw that coming." Edward continued to laugh while Bella frowned.

"Edward, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know, for a second I actually almost believed you. I thought 'what if she's telling the truth?' So I checked in on you a few months later and imagine my surprise when you weren't pregnant? The Bella I once knew would never abort a child just because I told her to. Nope, she would have been strong and independent so that's when I knew for certain there was never any baby. You were just bullshitting me all that time." Edward's eyes seemed sad for a moment but then returned to their coldness.

Bella couldn't believe this was what he'd been thinking the entire time. He'd been thinking that she'd lied about being pregnant to trap him into a relationship just for his money. She didn't even know what to think.

"I never knew you thought so low of me." Bella whispered.

"Bella, there's no need to pretend anymore! I heard you on a tape alright? I heard you telling James about your little plan after we broke up, when you were drunk in a club ok? So just stop lying, it's all on tape." Edward sighed tiredly, rubbing his hand over his face.

"What? I've never even talked to James without you being there! I was never drunk in a club after you and I broke up! I didn't leave my house for weeks! What the hell are you talking about?!" Bella shouted at the accusation.

It was true. She hadn't left her house for weeks after Edward had broken up with her. She'd been so devastated she didn't even eat until her father forced her to. She didn't even leave her bed. Edward breaking up with her was one of the hardest things she'd ever endured and she had never let know just how bad he'd affected her until now.

"I've got it on tape Bella! Proof!" Edward shouted once again.

"Well I don't fucking know what tape you talking about! I didn't even step outside of my room, how could I have gone to a club? Who did James tell you I was there with?!"

"I didn't ask."

"Well ask Alice or my mum or anybody else for that matter. I did not leave my bedroom for weeks! I even asked Alice to go and buy me a pregnancy test because I couldn't! So I don't know what the hell your friend told you but it wasn't me he recorded!"

Edward remained still for what seemed like hours. Bella stood silent as well, waiting for a reaction, not understanding what Edward was talking about.

She had never spoken to James without Edward. Yesterday at the bar was the first time in years she had seen James so what was going on? Who was lying?

"Fine, you wanna continue denying it? Get dressed," he ordered.

"What?"

"Get dressed. I'm going to refresh your memory." Edward looked at her with conviction all over his face. Seeing that he was being deadly serious, Bella went into her wardrobe and pulled out some jeans and a t-shirt. She looked at Edward who was still standing there looking at her.

"Can you at least turn around?" she asked, with an eyebrow raised.

"Sweetheart, I've seen you in a lot less," he replied with a smirk. As Bella continued to stare him down, he sighed in annoyance and turned around reluctantly.

Bella quickly put on her clothes and shoes before grabbing her keys from her desk.

"Let's go," she said and followed Edward out the door.

* * *

They reached his house in less than twenty minutes.

Bella unwillingly followed him into through the door and took his her surroundings. The whole room was typical Edward-style. It was simple yet tasteful. There were a few paintings hung around the walls; they were all so artistic and looked very expensive.

Although Edward loved his music, Bella has always known he had a small passion for art and had even seen some of his own drawings. Most of them had been of her.

He would always show her his drawings of her and she would blush; Edward love creating sensual art. He would draw how her face looked whilst in the throes of passion. Sometimes, he would also draw parts of her body like her breasts or just her torso; all were sensual but still captured an innocence that Bella did not see in herself.

Bella followed Edward into his bedroom and suddenly began to feel out place; like she shouldn't be there. They were no longer a part of each other's lives.

Edward began rummaging through his wardrobe and Bella took the time to look at the black covers on his bed, making it look so inviting.

Although Edward had more money than she could count now, he still seemed like he'd maintained his some of his humility, at least when it came to splashing money.

Edward stood up and faced Bella, holding a tape recorder in his hand.

"You wanna try telling me again that you're innocent before I play this?"

Bella remained silent and stood strong. She had no idea what he was talking about and wasn't about to allow him to make her feel guilty for something she hadn't done.

He pressed play on the tape and Bella heard a drunken voice that sounded remarkably like hers.

"Did you know that Edward left me?"

A male voice entered the conversation replying, "Did he now?" That was definitely James.

"Yup. What a bastard! Just dumped me...like – like I was some sort of toy doll that he got bored with."

"I'm sorry babe, but he's got bigger priorities now."

"Yeah, like his fucking music. But it's ok, 'coz I've got a plan," the 'Bella' on the tape said, whispering and then giggling in a drunken manner.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" James asked.

"Well...don't tell anyone but...I'm gonna do something that will make him be with me and put his money to good use. But you have to shhhhh! Don't tell _anyone_!" The 'Bella' on the tape continued laughing histerically until Edward pressed 'stop' on the tape recorder.

"So, you wanna continue lying?" Edward asked with a stern expression on his face.

Bella didn't know what to say. Edward was right, that girl sounded remarkably like her but she knew she had never had that conversation. She could swear her life on it. But then who was that on the tape? And why would they act like they were her?

Bella continued silent, too stunned to even speak.

"Yeah, I thought so." Edward threw the tape recorder on the tape and stormed out of the room. Bella followed and grabbed his arm before he could continue walking away.

"Edward, look, I know that sounded like me but it wasn't! You have to believe me!" she pleaded.

"Oh really, so if that wasn't you then who was it Bella?"

"I...don't know." Bella frowned and looked at the floor, searching for answers but finding none.

"Well then, maybe it was your twin," he replied sarcastically.

"Damn it Edward! I'm telling you the truth!" Bella shouted, tears building in her eyes.

Edward became quiet and walked over to the couch. He sat down and put his hands on his head, turning his head when Bella sat down beside him.

"How can I believe that Bella?" he asked, speaking softly.

"Because I'm telling you it's the truth Edward," Bella replied just as softly.

Edward sighed and dropped his head back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't know what to believe. Either way someone is lying – either you, or one of my best friends."

"Well, you already chose who to believe three years ago, I guess there's really no point in believing me now, right?" Bella stood up and looked at Edward "Look, I don't care if you believe whether I'm lying or not Edward. You made your decision without even giving me the benefit of the doubt, without even asking me. So stick to your decision because either way, from now on our relationship is strictly professional. I don't care what you _think_ happened three years ago or what James told you because from the moment you didn't believe in me, it stopped mattering."

Bella began walking out of his house before Edward grabbed her arm.

"Wait. How are you getting home?"

"I'll get a cab." Bella continued to walk and just as she was about to close the door, she heard the words she'd never thought she'd hear out of Edward's mouth.

"Bella, what happened to the baby?"

* * *

**TUM TUM TUM!!!!!**

**Next chapter we will finally find out what happened with the baby!!! Are you excited?? I am!!!! lol**

**Pleaseeee Reviewwww!!!**

**And I have a little letter the the USA. If you are from the USA, please read and give it some thought.**

**America,  
****I've never asked for anything. Not for money, or clothes, or food, But I must ask you for one thing today.  
****Please give Robert Pattinson back. He belongs here, in London, with us. This is is home. You lot have borrowed him for way too long him back please.  
****I beg of you!! You have already got way too many sexy guys there, all we have is him! Please give him back!**

**Thank you.**


	8. Anencephaly

**Heya everyone! Thanks so much again for reading this story and I love all of you who review!! I got like 46 reviews for Chap 7 thanks so much!!**

**I have to say all the comments about my letter to Rob were hillarious! Some of you were really nice and wanna give him back to where he belongs but all you other greedy girls tsc tsc! lol.I have to say when he does come back I won't want to give him back either! **

**And this is to _sweetmahogany_ - Daniel Radcliffe is NOTHING compared to Rob so it doesn't count that we have him! We can swap if you like!**

**And for _Shanda_ - I will let you talk to your people then and see if you can give Rob Back! Then tell your people to call my people! ****:P**

**I hope this chapter clears up a lot of things about the baby for you guys but there is obviously still more to come! Hope you like!!**

**Onto the story finally! Here's Chapter 8!**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Bella froze at the door, her hands still gripping the doorknob. Slowly, she turned around until she was facing Edward. She raised her head to look into his eyes. His hands let go of her arm to hang lifeless by his side.

Bella frowned, still looking straight into his eyes.

"What gives you the right?" she said softly. Her eyes held no tears, her voice betrayed no pain.

"I am the father; I think that in itself gives me the right." Edward straightened his posture as if trying to prepare himself. His jaw was clenched and his eyes held hers firmly.

"Oh really? As I recall it, you wanted nothing to do with the whole situation," Bella's eyebrows rose and she laughed – though her laughter contained no humour.

"What happened to the baby?" Edward repeated, looking at the floor and then looking at her once again.

Bella walked back into the apartment and over to the pictures of Edward as a child in his mother's arms. She ran her hands softly over the frame, taking in Edward with only four years of life.

His smile was even the same back then – cheeky and contagious. His hair was shorter and with a slight curl. Edward's mum, Esme, was lifting him high into the air and smiling at him; their eyes shining bright in the sunlight with love and happiness.

Bella heart clenched tightly and tears began to form in her eyes. Looking at that picture was like seeing what her life could have been like. It was painful.

Bella looked away and realised Edward had been staring at her. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed quietly. She blinked rapidly, trying to push the tears back before they escaped.

She walked over and sat on the couch. She knew that it was time. So many years had passed and she'd never spoken the words out loud...but now...it was time.

"I...I was about twelve weeks into the pregnancy when I found out I was pregnant. We were already broken up then. For a long time after that, I didn't know how to tell you. I was really scared."

Bella looked up when she felt Edward sitting down next to her and the continued on when he remained silent.

"I didn't actually want to tell you that I was pregnant but Alice insisted –"

"Alice knew?!" Edward exclaimed.

"Yes, she was my best friend of course she knew but that's not the issue right now so can you please just listen without interrupting?" Bella looked at Edward and he nodded. Bella took a deep breath and continued "Okay then. So, Alice insisted that I tell you. She said that you had the right to know since you were the father so I agreed to tell you. The day before I phoned you, I went to the doctor, by then I was already about three and a half months pregnant and he discovered some problems with the baby." Bella watched as Edward's face changed from interested to curious and then worried. "He explained that the baby suffered from this disease called anencephaly. It's a very rare disease that the baby would be born blind, deaf, unconscious and unable to feel pain." Bella felt the tears drop down her cheeks but forced herself to carry on,

"The doctor said that anencephaly doesn't have a cure and the babies usually don't even survive the birth. There was nothing I could. I either had the baby for nine months only to have it die at birth or...I could have medical termination. There was no other choice. I had to. I had to do it."

The memories played so freshly in Bella's mind as if it were yesterday. She could remember the doctor's sympathetic eyes as he explained the condition and her heart clenching tighter with each word. She remembered that for hours after she could do nothing but stare into space – her mind confused and unfocused. She'd been so scared. So scared.

She couldn't even remember Alice's words to her as she came out of the doctor's office. The memories after that were all blurred. She'd been so alone. Alice's presence, while it was appreciated, did nothing to dampen the fear and loneliness in her heart.

Bella had actually begun to grow fond of the idea of having a child. Whether Edward was present or not, she had already begun imagining what her baby would look like and how it would feel in her arms the first time she held it.

She imagined him looking up at her with innocent and wide eyes, taking in the world for the first time and seeing the one person who would always be there for him no matter what.

Bella had cried as she'd never cried before that night. Alice stayed with her all night, all questions forgotten, and just passed her hands through Bella's hair. Bella had stayed curled up in a fetal position in her bed for the whole night.

By the morning, the tears had dried but her body still ached. Her stomach convulsed and Alice pulled back her hair as she threw up.

Bella decided to call Edward later that day. Even if they weren't together she knew that he would be there for her through this tough time – he wasn't a monster.

So she'd called him. Hearing him tell her to abort it, Bella knew he wouldn't care if she told him, so she didn't.

She'd hoped that he would be there with her through that tough time – but hearing his cruelty had extinguished any hope she'd had and so she did it alone.

Bella didn't even tell Alice she was going to get the termination because Alice would have wanted to come with her and Bella didn't want that. She didn't want to have to face Alice's sympathy and comforting words, she simply wanted to end it so that she could deal with the pain and move on.

Because nothing would ever compare to the pain she had felt for having to kill her child.

Rationally, Bella knew that was the only option she had.

Apart from keeping the baby for the whole nine months, growing attached and then watching it die anyways – there was no other choice.

So she did what she had to do. Alone.

But in her heart, she felt like she'd abandoned her baby when he'd most needed her. She'd committed the biggest crime.

Bella's tears continued to fall as she stared into space. She could still feel Edward beside her but he hadn't moved or said a word since she'd finished. Bella didn't turn to look at him. To do that would mean that she wanted to know what he was feeling and she didn't.

She didn't care anymore.

He'd made her live in hell.

She'd been so young and he'd left her with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"I...I...I'm sorry Bella. I didn't know. I'm so so sorry."

Bella finally turned her head slowly to look at him and saw nothing but regret and pain filling his eyes. Tears had rolled down his face and Edward looked like he was in physical pain. His eyes were wide and his shoulders were hunched. He kept shaking his head from side to side as if denying what he'd heard.

He put his hands in his hands in his head Bella heard his sobs while his shoulders began shaking violently.

Bella looked at him one last time, silent tears still making their way down her cheeks, and she rose from her couch.

"Bella...Bella please," Edward sobbed.

Bella turned around to face him and was caught off guard when he knelt down and hugged her, his head buried in her stomach.

"Please...please...forgive me."

Bella remained lifeless, not moving in any way to comfort him or to extract herself from him.

She resisted the urge to comfort him. He didn't deserve her comfort or her pity. He didn't even deserve her anger.

She just stood completely still as he continued to cry into her jumper.

* * *

Bella woke up the next day exhausted. She'd managed to just squeeze in just two hours of sleep. She opened her eyes and remembered the emotionally draining night she'd had just a few hours before.

Yesterday, after Edward had finally stopped crying and begging for forgiveness, she'd quietly asked him to take her home. They'd driven to her house in silence, neither knowing what to say or do. Bella had simply wanted to rest and take in everything that had been said today.

Edward dropped her off and still said nothing as she got out of the car and into her house. She heard him wait until she had gone inside to drive off.

In her mind, it still didn't seem real. After all these years, Edward finally knew what had really happened. Many things were finally cleared up. Well...many things but one. She still wanted to find out who exactly James had asked to impersonate her and why the hell he would do that.

They'd only seen each other once or twice while she and Edward had gone out, so why would he go through all that just to break them up? Did he have a personal grudge against her? Bella couldn't understand but for now she had to get ready for work. With Edward.

She hated that she had to see him. Even more so now that she had told him everything. What were things going to be like today? Would he still continue to be a jerk or would he finally start making things up to her after all these years?

Either way, whatever happened she knew she still had a job to do and after that who knew? She might never see Edward again. Bella only wanted to clear up the whole tape issue and then maybe she could finally let go. She could finally move on and start fresh.

Bella arrived at the cafe where Edward had breakfast every day. It was definitely much larger and extravagant than usual cafes but of course a _superstar_ couldn't go to just _any_ cafe. Bella walked inside and immediately saw Edward sitting at a table but he wasn't alone.

Tanya Denali was sitting with him, her back to Bella, looking more glamorous than any normal person should at that time in the morning. But of course Tanya Denali wasn't a normal person anyways. Bella sucked in a huge gulp of air and prepared herself for the battle ahead.

When Edward became aware of her presence, he straightened his back and his eyes became softer. Sensing something had changed Edward's demeanour, Tanya snapped her head in Bella's direction and narrowed her eyes when she realised who it was.

"What's _she_ doing here?" Bella heard Tanya asking Edward.

"Tanya, I told you she's a journalist. She is going to be here all week," Edward replied in a tired voice. Tanya huffed but didn't say anymore as Bella sat down on an empty chair beside them.

Bella sat there, not knowing what to do, just looking around and taking the beauty of the cafe and the beautiful people that frequented the place. There were couples all around, eating and chatting away happily. Bella began to feel even more uncomfortable. She didn't fit in there.

"Are you going to eat anything or can you not afford it?" Tanya asked pretentiously, interrupting Bella's thoughts.

"I ate at home." Bella replied, not wanting to speak any further. She was simply going to do her job now which didn't involve socializing.

Bella could feel Edward's stare on her but refused to acknowledge him. He'd brought his girlfriend to have breakfast with them after the intense talk they'd had yesterday. Obviously it hadn't been that way for him since he'd brought the airhead along with him. With Tanya there it was impossible to talk about what happened yesterday – actually it was impossible to talk about anything, the girl never shut up.

Even now, Tanya was babbling endlessly about some modelling job she'd gone to and they'd asked her if she would do topless. Apparently, Tanya had shouted and stormed off claiming that she was a 'decent' woman and would never do such things.

_Yeah right, they probably just weren't offering enough money. _Bella thought to herself and a smile forced its way on her face before she could help it.

"Is something funny?" Tanya asked, looking at Bella with a sneer.

Bella shook her head and let her mind drift once again while Tanya continued with her stories. Edward was silent throughout the conversation, only nodding at the right spaces, encouraging Tanya to continue.

Every so often, Bella would feel his intense gaze on her. She still couldn't understand why he'd asked Tanya to come to breakfast when he knew they had to at least talk about what happened yesterday. Obviously he didn't care as much as he'd cared yesterday.

Bella was waiting patiently, not really paying attention to Edward's daily routine. She would just worry about what she would write for her article when the time came. Bella was deep in thought when someone interrupted her train of thought.

"Oh my God! It's Edward Cullen! Can I please have your autograph?!" A young girl was standing beside Edward, smiling excitedly and looking like she was about to faint. An older woman stood beside her, rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your breakfast Mr. Cullen. My daughter's just a huge fan. She raves about you all the time," the woman explained apologetically.

Edward took the napkin the young girl had handed to him and looked around for a pen. Bella silently took out a pen from her purse and handed it to him. She always carried a pen just in case she suddenly needed to write something down. That's what a good journalist did.

Edward gave her a curt nod as a way of thanking her and quickly signed the napkin. He gave it back to the girl with his famous charming smile. The girl thanked him and giggled incessantly even as her mother led her back to their table.

"Don't you just hate it when fans are all over you all the time?" Tanya said and threw her hair over her shoulder. "I get so annoyed when that happens to me," she continued throwing a dirty look towards the table where the young girl sat.

Edward just shrugged and continued eating his meal.

"What is wrong with you today? Your silence is fucking pissing me off Edward," Tanya said, irritated.

Edward looked up slowly, still chewing his food silently and shrugged once again.

"Argh! You are so irritating! Call me when you're not PMSing." Tanya stood up from the table and walked away.

Bella watched as she walked away and wondered why Edward wasn't running after her apologizing. Either way, she didn't care. That was probably how he treated all his girlfriends nowadays.

Edward put his fork down and wiped his mouth carefully and slowly with his napkin. When he finished, he put his napkin back on the table. He looked up slowly and met Bella's eyes. He leaned back on his chair slowly, still maintaining eye contact.

"Now that she's gone, you and I can have a little chat."

* * *

**OK People! Time for my desperate plee for reviews!**

**PLEASE REVIEWWWW!!! It really does help with the writer's block I've been having.**

**Sorry about the long wait this last time but if you review more I'll update faster! :)**


	9. Important!

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!!!!!**

**Hey readers!**

**I'm so sorry! I know you guys probably thought this was a new chapter but it's an important announcement!**

**I'm going on holiday tomorrow to Portugal and will be gone for a month.**

**I am truly sorry! I didn't say anything in the last chapter because I really thought I would be able to finish Chapter 9 before I left but things have been so hectic lately that I wasn't able to.**

**Once again I am really really sorry and I hope you guys will stick with me until I come back.**

**I promise that it will be the first thing I do when I get back!!**

**I really wanna thank you all for your support and your reviews!**

**And please stick with me because this story is my baby and you all are the major reason of its success!**

**Thanks so much as I hope you all have a great holiday!**

**Iris**

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**


	10. Purple Hyacinths and Deep Red Roses

**PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!**

**HI EVERYONE AND LET ME BEGIN BY APOLOGIZING NOW. I AM SOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE DELAY, I KNOW IT'S BEEN MORE THAN A MONTH BUT THE PROBLEM WAS THAT I CAME BACK ON THE 19TH AND THEN THIS CRAP HAPPENED WITH MY UNI AND I HAD SO MANY PROBLEMS THAT I COULDN'T EVEN SIT DOWN AND SORRY!**

**ON THE OTHER HAND THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT AND THE GREATT REVIEWS.I HAD AN AMAZING HOLIDAY IN PORTUGAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH! LOL.**

**ANYWHO HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER,PROGRESS IS ON ITS WAY!**

**ENJOY!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Chapter 9

Seconds went by and Edward was still looking at her with an extremely serious expression on his face. Bella raised her eyebrows expectantly and still he said nothing.

She began tapping her foot impatiently on the floor and ran a hand through her hair.

"Well? What is it?" she asked, making it clear that she hoped this would be a quick conversation. They could both agree that the best thing was to forget that this ever happened and after the week was up, move on with the rest of their lives.

As the thought of once again not having Edward in her life entered her mind, Bella's heart clenched painfully. She ignored it. She'd lived without him before, she could do it again.

And this time it would be easier, they weren't together so it wasn't like she was losing him anyways. She'd grown up and become much stronger and independent – she did not need Edward Cullen to make her feel good anymore.

Edward was wearing a open collar, light blue shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbow and the first three buttons were undone. His hair was, as always, dishevelled and uncontrollable. He looked sinfully sexy.

Edward seemed to radiate a silent confidence which was one of the things that attracted so many women to him. He had a way of making any woman feel safe and protected around him while at the same time making them feel wanted and sexy.

It was his gaze. His eyes were intense and penetrative. They made you feel like you were the last drop of water in the desert and Edward was a man dying of thirst.

He was looking at her like that right now. Bella felt the heat begin from the tips of her toes and slowly spreading through her body.

Ok, this needed to stop right now.

"Alright then, if you don't want to talk then I'm going to leave," she said, pushing the chair back and standing up, getting ready to leave.

Edward grabbed her wrist and looked up at her with the same serious expression.

"Please don't leave. I was just trying to think of the best way to say this but...I realise no matter how I say it, it won't make things any better," he ran an agitated hand through his hair and then continued when Bella sat back down, "Yesterday...made me rethink a lot of the decisions I've made in life and questions whether I've made more mistakes in my life than I actually realise," Edward sighed and once again ran a hand through his hair, "What I'm trying to say is that...I think that we should resolve this whole mystery of the tape and have a fresh start."

"Look, I get what you're trying to do Edward but after this assignment is over all I want is to move on with my life and have a completely fresh start."

"We can do that Bella –"

"No Edward, you don't get it," Bella interrupted, "When this assignment is over you can go your way and I can go mine. We have closure now, we can move on."

Edward looked at Bella for a second, confusion clear in his eyes. Then, he leaned back on his chair and clasped his hands together, placing them on the table. He gave her a long, deep look.

"I'm sorry Bella...but I'm not willing to do that."

"It doesn't matter. You made your choice a long time ago."

Edward slammed his hand down on the table causing a few people to stare. Bella blushed slightly in embarrassment but Edward didn't seem to notice anyone else around him. He leaned in towards Bella and in a controlled, lowered voice said,

"Damn it Bella! I'm doing everything I can to make things alright, just give me a second chance."

Bella shook her head sadly at him and thought about how fame really did change people. Edward was so used to getting his way that he didn't know how to react when somebody refused him.

"I'll think about it," she lied. Right now she just wanted to stop talking about it. She knew what she had to do, whether she liked it or not. She had to do what was best for her career and that was doing an amazing job with this assignment. Then she needed to finally let go of her past and that included letting go of Edward.

She knew it was probably his guilty conscience that wanted to make it up to her but it wasn't up to her to make him feel better. He had to handle the consequences of his actions.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" Bella asked, trying to change the subject quickly.

"Why? Are you planning on asking me out?" A smirk appeared on Edward's lips almost instantly.

Bella rolled her eyes and sighed in annoyance but decided to ignore him.

"I need to go to Alice's tonight for a dinner and I was wondering if I could have the night off just for today?"

For a moment, Bella could have sworn she saw Edward's face torn with sadness at the mention of his sister's name but it was gone so quickly she thought she must have imagined it.

"Yeah yeah, sure whatever," he said waving a hand dismissively.

Bella gave him a short nod of thanks and stood from her seat. As she was preparing to leave Edward grabbed her wrist once again.

"I'm not giving up Bella. Remember that."

She took one last look at him and left the cafe.

* * *

"Hey B!" Alice greeted as Bella arrived at her house with Jacob. She gave Bella a hug and as Bella stepped inside, Alice turned to give Jacob a thorough look. "Jacob Black. You look amazing! Come here!" Alice squealed and gave Jacob a hug.

"Alice, cutting off my circulation here," Alice smiled and let him go, "Wow, for such a tiny girl you really are strong," he joked.

Alice slapped his arm and scowled.

"Don't call me tiny!"

"Aw Alice, you know I'm kidding." Jacob pouted and gave her his infamous puppy dog eyes.

"Alright, alright. You know I can't resist those eyes. Come in you big puppy!" Alice laughed and put her arm around his shoulders as they joined Bella, jasper, Emmett and Rosalie in the dining room.

Alice's house which was usually alive with so many colourful paintings and decorations was now mostly packed up. Bella was going to miss Alice's house; it was as if just by walking into the house you could instantly know all about Alice's vibrant personality.

Alice had decorated the house all by herself from top to bottom. Bella guessed that's what she was probably already doing to Jasper's house right now too. Bella stifled a giggle as she imagined poor Jasper and the hell he must be going through.

The dinner went by smoothly and full of laughter. It was amazing how charming and funny Jacob was and just how easily he fit in with the group.

He was the only one who knew exactly how to get Alice all riled up. He could discuss and share Emmett's passion for sports. He and Jasper both had a secret wish of joining the army (just for fun) even though they both knew they would never really do it. He even got on perfectly with Rosalie due to their fascination about cars.

All in all, Jacob was surely going to become an additional member to the group. Bella even wondered why she didn't notice just how much of a great guy he was until now. This was probably because before she was so focused on Edward that she never even glanced at another guy.

Bella got up and began clearing the table and shooed Alice when she tried to help. Bella went in the kitchen and was beginning to wash the dishes when she felt a presence behind her.

"So, how have things been with Dr. Evil?" Jacob asked with a boyish grin on his face.

Bella laughed, shaking her head.

"Could be worse I guess," she replied.

"But seriously though, is everything ok?" he asked, looking at her with concern.

"Yeah, everything is ok and anyways I only have a few days left with him and then my life will be back to normal."

"That's true. But we should still meet up and talk. You still haven't filled me in on what happened all those years ago."

Bella sighed quietly, half of her wanting to tell Jacob everything and half of her never wanting to have to retell the whole story again. However, she knew she owed him an explanation, having already promised she would and now the additional fact that she knew he would become a very treasured friend.

"You're right. We can plan something later."

Bella and Jacob both turned their heads when they heard the doorbell.

They weren't expecting anyone else were they?

Bella abandoned the dishes and followed Jacob into the dining room. Entering the room, Bella saw everyone standing in shock and confusion, staring at the person who had just come in.

Edward.

Everyone stood there, staring at him in shock.

Edward had rarely spoken to his family, particularly Alice, since the thing with Bella had happened. In the beginning, he'd been invited to every event and even begged to go but Edward refused.

After a while, he just wasn't invited anymore. Alice still held some anger towards him but mostly disappointment and his parents were hurt that he seemed to not want to have anything to do with them anymore.

Esme and Carlisle didn't know what had really occurred between them. All they knew was that Edward had broken up with Bella after gaining a bit of stardom and Bella and Alice were both hurt by that.

Bella hadn't wanted to tell Esme and Carlisle because she knew that it would have killed them to know that their son had behaved in such a disgraceful way.

Bella couldn't do that to them. No matter how much hatred she'd had for Edward at the time, she couldn't break a family up like that. Some things were just better left unknown.

The first person to move was Edward. He took a step forward toward Alice and handed her a purple hyacinth flower. Bella knew what that flower meant; it meant forgiveness.

Judging by the teary-eyed Alice, Bella guessed that Alice knew what it meant too.

Alice took a step forward and hugged her brother tightly. Edward hugged Alice back just as tightly and it began reminding Bella of just how close they used to be.

She felt a pang of guilt in her heart. She was the one who'd split these two sibling apart. It was because of her. Bella shook her head and reprimanded herself.

No.

It wasn't her fault. How many times had Alice told her that it had been her personal choice not to talk to Edward? From the beginning, Alice had disagreed with Edward's behaviour and attitude towards Bella and she had made it clear that it was Edward who had brought this on himself.

Bella watched as brother and sister finally made some kind of truce. Or at least until they had some time to talk and resolve things privately, but for now this was good.

Edward and Alice ended their exchange and Edward looked at Emmett. He stared Edward straight in the eye and for a moment Bella was unsure of how Emmett would react but soon enough he gave Edward a small smile and patted his back good naturedly.

With Edward and Jasper the exchange was quick and much simpler; a small but tough handshake and they were back to normal.

With Rosalie there was not much work to do on Edward's part as they'd never been that close anyways. So with a small nod of the head, Edward was forgiven.

Then, his eyes landed on Bella and only then did she notice the deep red rose in his hand. He made his way to her and with each step he took, Bella's heart raced faster and faster.

She wasn't sure what was going on. Was he playing a joke? Had he actually been serious at the restaurant? Was this just because he felt guilty?

So many questions were racing in her mind as he made his way over to her. In just those few steps he took, Bella's mind had gone round and round with questions and still she could not find an answer.

When he finally did stop in front of her, he extended his hand and handed her the rose. Bella took it carefully in her fingers noticing that the thorns had been removed.

Heartfelt regret and sorrow.

That was the meaning of a deep red rose. Bella knew that a normal red rose meant love and passion and all those things but just the slight difference in the red told her that he hadn't just gotten her roses because they were the norm. He'd actually thought these things through.

He stood in front of her looking remorseful and absolutely gorgeous. His black shirt fit snugly against him and Bella could see just a sneak peak of his chest with his first three buttons open.

As she held the rose in her hands, Edward took a step closer to her and spoke.

"Bella, only God knows how much I don't deserve your forgiveness but that doesn't mean I don't want it. I've done a lot of fucked up things in my life but with you I did something that I will hate myself for, for the rest of my life. I was up all night yesterday and today thinking of how I could begin to apologize and make it up to you but I couldn't think of anything that would even begin to show you how sorry I am. So, I decided to start apologizing today. Today is the beginning of my apologies for the rest of my life. I give this rose to you as a symbol of that and I will give you a rose everyday for the rest of your life so you know just how sorry I am."

Edward took a deep breath and frowned as he looked down at his feet. He looked back up and Bella and continued.

"I am sorry Bella, for everything I have ever done to you. All I ask now is for a chance to show you I've changed and I want to make things right. Please just give me a chance to do that."

Bella stared at Edward completely paralyzed. After so long of wishing he'd apologized, she was now at total loss of how to react.

Should she give him a chance? Was that even possible?

How could things ever be the same again after what had happened?

Edward stood there looking at her imploringly. She almost felt bad. Almost. Every time Bella found herself feeling really bad for Edward she forced herself to remember the hurt she'd felt and he hadn't even cared.

But he looked so lost and alone. Bella had to restrain herself as much as she could because all she wanted to do right now was grab him and hug him and tell him that everything was going to be fine.

But in reality, things were never that simple. Maybe she could try and integrate him into her life again but she didn't know if she would ever be able to trust him enough again to let him into her heart.

She needed time. He couldn't just spring this on her in front of everyone and expect her to answer right away.

"Edward, I appreciate that but I need some time to think about this. After my assignment is finished, we'll talk but right now I need to focus on that and keep my personal life away from my professional."

Edward's face fell so much that Bella's body had actually began to lean forward to comfort him but she held herself back.

For the first time in a long time, Bella saw the emotions running through Edward's face. Hurt, disappointment, sorrow. It actually hurt her to see him like that but she knew that there was no way she could comfort him. Especially not here and not now.

Finally, Edward nodded in acceptance.

"I understand. I'll give you some time. But know this Bella, I won't give up on you. Not this time."

* * *

**WELL THIS CHAPTER WAS A BIT BORING I'LL ADMIT BUT IT HAD TO HAPPEN SO THAT TH NEXT EVENTS CAN OCCUR.**

**I WILL NOT TAKE SO LONG THIS TIME I PROMISE BUT FOR THAT YOU HAVE TO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!**

**LOVE YASSSSS xxxxxxxxxxxx**


	11. Payback

**Heyaaa everyone! **

**Can you believe it??? Two updates in less than a week!! lol. But being serious, you guys deserve it. **

**This chapter is the longest one I've ever done but I hope this chapter makes up for the whole month I wasn't here. **

**Please don't hate me for what happens! It's necessary for the story!**

**Thanks again for your gave me 70% of my inspiration for this chapter and obviously the other 30% was Rob Pattinson as **

**ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know," Bella replied.

Jacob leaned back on the couch and put his hands behind his head, looking at the ceiling deep in thought. Bella had just told him about her and Edward's story from beginning to end, leaving out no details. Now Jacob looked the most serious he'd ever looked.

That's one thing Bella liked about Jacob – his ability to joke when it was time to joke and be serious when it was time to be serious. He never mixed the two and treated every situation accordingly.

He continued looking up at the ceiling and shook his head slowly.

"I never thought it was that bad. I mean Edward's always been a slight jerk but this is completely beyond that."

Bella nodded even though she knew Jacob wasn't looking at her. Surprisingly, she hadn't cried the entire time. But then again, after a while of retelling the same exact story, you sort of became slightly immune to it, like there was a protective shield around you.

She was finally starting to accept what happened and deal with her emotions in the right way. Bella realised that she couldn't continue living her life the way she'd been living it, filled with remorse and guilt. It had been eating her alive.

"You're a very strong woman Bella," Jacob said, looking at her intensely. Bella bowed her head, avoiding his gaze. Sometimes when Jacob looked at her she couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated. She didn't know why but she saw too much emotion there.

Unlike Edward, Jacob's face was an open book. Whatever he felt could be seen in his eyes and he wasn't afraid to show it. Whereas Edward preferred to keep his emotions to himself and very rarely did his eyes show more than he allowed them to.

Bella got the feeling that Jacob felt something more for her than just friendship but for now, she chose to ignore it. She had made no advances to show him that he was anything more than just a friend so she hoped he would understand where she stood without her having to say it.

"Thanks Jake," she replied, suddenly feeling a little shy.

"I mean it Bells. I don't even know how you can stand to be in the same room as him. If I were you I don't think – no I know for sure that I could never forgive him. You're not only strong but you're a much better person than I could ever be."

Bella didn't know what to say to that. She really appreciated Jacob's words but she didn't know what he wanted her to say. He was making her sound stronger than she really was. If he'd seen her during that time he probably wouldn't be saying these things. After what happened with Edward she'd been a total chaos.

She'd been anything but strong.

"Well, I don't think you give yourself much credit Jake. You're a great person," Bella replied, truly meaning what she was saying.

It was all true. Jacob was one of the best people she'd ever met. He was the actual definition of light. He was so energetic and kind. He brought light into every room he entered.

"You're the one who doesn't give yourself enough credit. Trust me. You're amazing." Jacob was giving her that intense look again – the one that made her want to want him.

Unfortunately, you can't choose who your heart desires. And that wasn't Jacob.

"Bella, I'm just gonna be honest with you because I'm not the kind of guy who beats around the bush," he stated. Bella's heart stopped for a moment.

_Please don't say it. Don't say what I know you're going to say. _Bella pleaded in her mind but it still didn't stop Jacob from continuing.

"I like you Bella. You probably already know that but I've liked you for a _very_ long time. Edward's my friend–ish so I never did anything whilst you two were together. Not just because of my slight loyalty to Edward but because I knew you would never even consider it. I know you're probably wondering why I'm asking now since I know my chances are still slim but I have to try. I don't ever want to think about what ifs," he took a deep breath and continued, "All I'm asking is for a chance. I know you may not like me as much as you like Edward but if you give me a chance I'm hoping that could change. "

This is what Bella had feared. Now she would have to turn him down and then things would be awkward between them and eventually their friendship would probably be affected.

This sucked.

"Jake, I don't know what to say. I do that to you. You have to understand that you're my friend and I value your friendship so much. I don't wanna lose you."

"Bella, let me make one thing clear to you. I know what I'm getting myself into, it's not like you're trying to trick me into a situation. Whatever happens, nothing will ever change between us. I'll still be your friend no matter what," he spoke so softly and honestly that it nearly swayed Bella.

Jacob was an attractive, caring and passionate guy. Any girl that had him would be so lucky. So why couldn't her heart just reciprocate his feelings? Things would be so much easier.

But nobody said love was simple.

"I'm sorry Jake. I just can't. I can't do that to myself and especially to you. I can't hurt you like that," Bella replied with firmness in her voice.

She couldn't and wouldn't do that to him. He might think that he knew what he was getting himself into but he didn't. He truly didn't because Bella hadn't even admitted it to herself.

She still had feelings for Edward and while she did she would never be able to love anyone else. So no matter how hard Jacob tried, she would never be able to give him what he deserved.

But she would get rid of these feelings for Edward. Just give her time and she would. Once and for all.

Jacob looked dejectedly at the floor. Bella felt her heart clench; she hated it when Jacob was upset. All she wanted to do was hug him so he would smile again.

But in this situation she couldn't do that for fear of messing with his emotions.

"I'm sorry Jake," she repeated, truly feeling those words.

"That's okay. I knew there was a big chance you would say that." He suddenly lifted his head and gave her an enormous smile – his infamous childlike grin. "No matter! Friends?" he extended his hand and Bella gripped it and he gave her hand an over the top shake.

Bella laughed and felt extremely relieved that things were back to normal so quickly.

"You're one of a kind Jake," she laughed.

"Yeah, I know...I hate that."

* * *

Bella was actually feeling quite positive today. She awoke with a great feeling and knew things were finally being sorted and her life was turning around.

She had found a great friend in Jacob, finally told Edward the truth and had her dream job. What else could be more perfect?

She was going to write the best first article ever written and her boss would be amazed.

Bella headed into the building and walked up to the front desk.

"Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Cullen," she greeted the receptionist with a smile which was immediately returned.

_So smiles really are contagious._ Bella thought and smiled once again as the receptionist told her Edward's whereabouts.

Bella walked into the elevator feeling pretty damn great. The sun was shining; she knew she looked fabulous with her dark blue pencil skirt and fitted, white blouse. Her hair was cascading down her back in loose curls and her make-up was light and fresh.

_Not bad._ She thought as she looked at her image in the elevator mirror. She looked sophisticated yet sexy. She'd been trying to convince herself that she hadn't done this for Edward but she couldn't deny that he did play a part in this.

She hadn't done it because of him but she couldn't wait until he saw her.

Bella walked out of the elevator and made her way to the room where she'd been told Edward was.

_Room 212, room 212. _Bella repeated as she passed room 209, 210 and 211. Finally she found the room and found Edward...but he was not alone.

Bella's heart came crashing down as she took in the sight before her.

Edward and Tanya were kissing passionately against the desk. His hands were around her waist, securing her to him and hers were on his shoulders gripping tightly. One of Tanya's legs were around his waist and Edward's hair looked even messier than usual as if someone had ran their hands through it roughly.

Three guesses who?

A sob threatened to escape her but Bella ran out of there as fast as her feet could carry her. Her heart was racing, the tears had forced their way out of her eyes and she felt like she was going to collapse if she stopped running.

Bella ran. She didn't notice the people giving her concerned looks as she ran out of the building and into the street. She didn't notice the people who cursed her as she barged past them. She didn't even notice going into a small park and finally collapsing on a bench.

She felt like Edward had taken her heart and stomped on it once again. She couldn't believe she'd actually considered giving him a second chance. That bastard! How could he have said all those things like he'd actually meant them and do this?

She needed to stop thinking that he could change. She needed to stop wishing that he would be the Edward he was when she met him.

It was obvious now that he would never be that person again.

He was a heartless, cold bastard and he would never change. How could she have fallen for his act again?

_He must be feeling so proud of himself. Fooled poor, stupid Bella once again._ Bella scoffed.

Bella didn't know how long she sat there for and cried. She cried for the break-up, the abortion and the anger she felt towards herself for being so stupid and gullible. She cried because she wished so much that she could just rip out her feelings for Edward and give Jacob a chance.

She knew Jacob would never do this to her. He was such a kind and loving guy. He would treat her like a princess.

She knew all this... so why was her heart still bleeding for Edward?

Bella rose from her seat and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

She was angry.

No.

She wasn't angry. She was furious.

She would show Edward that he didn't control her emotions anymore. Her world didn't revolve around him. He had no more power to hurt her.

Bella was pissed and she was going to make him pay.

These were the last tears she would ever cry for Edward Cullen.

And this time – she meant it.

* * *

Bella walked into the club feeling powerful. She knew she looked amazingly sexy. She was wearing the sexiest dress she had, which she rarely brought out but she decided this was the perfect occasion to wear it.

It was a black, silver sequin, fitted pencil evening dress. And it fit her like a glove. The dress hugged her curves perfectly and her cleavage had never looked better. She had chosen to wear some black heels which had totally surprised Alice; Bella hated heels and avoided them as much as she could.

But tonight called for the best outfit she could conjure up.

Edward needed to pay...and he would.

Her hair cascaded around her shoulders in waves. Her eyes were smokey and her lips were a simple tone of peach which she knew Edward loved on her.

She'd basically done everything she knew he liked because she wanted to make him want her so badly and so desperately that he'd do just about anything to have her.

Bella smiled discreetly as she noticed the reaction of the men as she walked past them.

"I think these guys heads are about to blow off," Jacob said as he followed Bella to a table with his hand on her lower back.

Bella had come with Jacob as she knew he'd be here anyways since Edward was performing tonight. Bella knew that she was supposed to be focusing on her assignment and she was...but there was no rule against having a little fun as well.

Bella took a seat and Jacob sat next to her but with a big gap between them.

"You know Jake...I don't have germs, you can sit a bit closer," Bella laughed as she saw the nervous look on Jacob's face. He seemed to be very uneasy around her tonight.

"Um...I'm fine here thanks," he replied,, clearing his throat.

"Are you okay Jake?" Bella asked, honestly concerned. He looked all flushed and damn right uncomfortable. Maybe he was coming down with something?

Jacob looked her straight in the eye and stopped squirming. He leaned in and for a minute Bella thought he was going to kiss her but all he did was whisper in her ear.

"I'm just gonna say this once Bella. You look fucking amazing tonight. Seriously...and don't hate me for this...if you were my girl you wouldn't be here right now, looking like that, because the moment I saw you walk out of your house I would have taken you straight back to the bedroom," he said with a serious expression.

Jacob sat back in his place and watched Bella's reaction.

When she'd planned this outfit she hadn't even thought of how it would affect Jacob. But now she knew he also wasn't immune to the dresses' power.

When he'd leaned in to whisper in her ear, a small part of Bella actually hoped that he was going to kiss her. Only a very small, lonely part of her.

Bella cleared her throat and looked away. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jacob smirking victoriously, evidently pleased that he'd managed to affect her.

Before Jacob could say anything else, the audience began clapping and girls began screaming; Bella didn't even have to turn to see why. Edward had just come on stage looking like perfection as always.

She could definitely understand why the girls went crazy over him. Hell, if she hadn't known him for so long she would probably be screaming as well. But she did know him and right now screaming wasn't something she wanted to do.

In fact, if she really did do what she wanted she wouldn't be screaming – she would be ripping off his balls.

Edward smirked at the girls in the front row, put his guitar strap over his head and sat on a small stool.

"I wanna thank everybody for coming and this first song is one of my favourites so I hope you all enjoy. It's called 'Broken'."

Bella watched as Edward sang. He seemed to enter a place inside himself where nobody existed; it was just him. He sang so soulfully and deeply. It was clear that singing was his passion.

He sang with his eyes closed but there was moment when he opened them and his eyes landed right on Bella.

After that, he didn't close them anymore. He kept his eyes on Bella and she could see the lust in his eyes. Not once throughout the whole song did he remove his eyes from her.

Bella started shifting in her seat. She couldn't be the bitch she needed to be with him looking at her like that. He needed to stop.

"Looks like you have another admirer." Jacob said, looking slightly annoyed. Not at Bella but at Edward.

Bella just nodded slightly and didn't say anything in return.

After a few more slow songs, Edward changed them to more upbeat and a lot more sexual songs. It was time to put her plan into action. Bella turned to Jacob and extended her hand out to him.

"Wanna dance?" she asked with what she hoped was a 'seductive' smile.

Jacob's eyes widened and he hesitated for less than a second but then took her hand and followed her lead.

Bella turned her back to him, grabbed his hands and placed them on her hips. She began moving slowly against him while he remained still, as if unsure of what to do.

Bella danced against him and suddenly realised her plan was definitely working.

Edward had noticed them – and he wasn't happy about it. He continued singing but Bella could see the storm forming in his eyes. She smirked at him and grinded her hips harder against Jacob.

She could feel the effect it was having on Jacob but Bella was no longer in control of her body. She wanted Edward to suffer; she wanted him to feel every single hurt he'd ever caused her. She wanted him to cry twice as many tears as she'd cried. She wanted him to ache as much as she'd ached.

It was like she was possessed. The more Edward showed his jealousy and anger, the more Bella danced against Jacob.

It was like Jacob wasn't even there. He was just a mannequin to her but Bella was so out of herself. She wanted revenge and right now she would do anything to get it.

Just when she thought Edward was about to explode, she did the one thing that she was certain would dig the knife further into his heart.

She turned and grabbed Jacob by the neck and kissed him with all her heart.

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**Sooooooo......what did you think??? Let me know! Do you hate me? Love me? Wanna kill me? REVIEWWWWWW**

**Oh yeah, if you wanna have a visual of Bella's dress there is a link on my profile. Love you all and please do **


	12. Think Twice

**First of all let me begin by apologizing!!!! SORRYYYYY! I know I really took long this time. But please understand that I have been soooo busy with real life. I moved to Uni and I've started my course and got loads work of I am truly sorry!**

**And I am also sorry for the shortness of this chapter but I felt you guys deserved something asap! Next time I won't take so long.**

**Thanks again for all your reviews!!!Thank you Thank you Thank you!**

**And without further ado! On to the story! **

* * *

**Chapter 12**

She turned and grabbed Jacob by the neck and kissed him with all her heart.

Bella could feel the shock course through Jacob's body as he stood frozen for a few seconds but then placed his hands around Bella's waist, forcing her closer to him, and gave into the kiss. He moved his lips against hers passionately.

Bella knew she shouldn't be doing this. She hadn't even really drunk anything so she had no excuse for doing this to Jacob. She knew exactly what she was doing...and suddenly her conscience started to weigh heavily on her head.

Jacob had been nothing but honest, sweet and understanding to her. Was revenge on Edward really worth losing Jacob's friendship?

No. It wasn't and Jacob didn't deserve this.

Just as Bella was about to remove her lips from Jacob's, he pulled away abruptly.

Jacob looked at her confusedly but slightly intrigued. His eyes roamed her face for answers when suddenly raised his head and looked at something behind Bella. His face changed with comprehension written all over it.

A look of pain took over his features as he looked back down at her and Bella quickly wanted to make it go away but as she felt her arm being grabbed and her entire body being dragged from Jacob, she could do nothing but helplessly follow.

She soon realised it was Edward pulling her outside the club. He let her wrist go as soon as they reached a dark, empty alley next to the club.

"What the hell gives you the right?!" Bella shouted. She was angry. How dare he just drag her away from Jacob like that? She hadn't even had a chance to apologize to Jacob. What must he be thinking right now?

God, he must hate her.

Edward just stood with his back to her and head lowered. His breathing was laboured as if he'd just run a marathon.

Bella just waited for a reaction. She wasn't sure what was going through his head right now but whatever it was, it couldn't be good. He looked like he was trying to stay in control.

When Edward finally turned to her, Bella realised she'd been right.

His eyes were burning with fury. His breathing had calmed down slightly but he still looked as if he was struggling to keep himself in check.

"What the fuck do mean what gives me the right? You did that on purpose! Is that your way of punishing me for what I've done these past few years? Is that it?" Edward gripped Bella by the arms and pulled her closely to his face. "What I don't understand is, why now? Yesterday you said you were going to consider forgiving me. What the hell happened? Was that a fucking game, is that it?!" Edward shouted.

He was gripping her arms tightly but Bella wasn't afraid that he would hurt her. If there was anything Bella could be sure of with Edward, it was that he would never hurt her physically. Not physically anyways...emotionally however...different story.

Bella looked him straight in the eyes fiercely.

"I'm not you Edward," she spit.

"So why the fuck did you kiss him?! And don't expect me to believe you just fell in love with him out of nowhere!" Edward sneered.

"That is none of your business alright?! And why the fuck do you care anyways?!"

"Why do you think I care? I asked you for a second for a reason. I want to start fresh with you Bella and make up for all my mistakes."

"Then stop fucking making new ones!"

"What the fuck do you mean?"

Bella struggled to release herself from his grip and pushed him away.

"Don't act dumb Edward. I saw you with Tanya today so quit acting like the fucking victim here."

Edward's arms fell to his side. His eyes became softer and regretful.

"What did you see?" he said calmly.

"What the fuck do you think I saw Edward?" Bella raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at him.

"Shit." Edward rubbed his hands over his face and exhaled deeply. "Bella, sometimes things aren't what they seem. If you had just talked to me about it maybe we could have avoided this whole situation."

"Oh please Edward. I'm not stupid. I know what I saw and I know you. What do you expect me to think?"

"Damn it Bella! Stop and just listen to me alright?!"

Bella stared and waited for him to go on. She wanted to know what excuse he was going to make up. Edward sighed once again and continued.

"After we broke up, James wanted me to get over you as soon as possible...so he introduced me to Tanya. At the time I wasn't really bothered, I just wanted to forget you," Bella winced slightly when he said this, "So I got with Tanya without thinking twice about it. James told me it would be especially good for me if I got with her because she was a model and it would help boost my career. I never really realised the connection between the two but after the whole shit with the tape I started thinking."

Edward looked at Bella with an intensified gaze, "What you saw yesterday was me trying to solve this whole tape issue. I need to know if it was really James and the only way I know how is to go through Tanya so I have to make her believe that we are still together and nothing has changed."

"You really expect me to believe that?" Bella said with a raised brow.

"It's the truth Bella. You and I are never going to be able to fully get past this until this is resolved. James and Tanya have been friends for years. If James really is to blame then I bet you anything that Tanya will be in on it too."

The worst part was...Bella wanted to believe him...and what he was saying kind of did make sense. What if Tanya was the one on the tape pretending to be her? What of James and Tanya were together in this whole scheme for some sick reason?

"Argh! I don't know what to think! You're fucking with my brain Edward! I didn't want this! I didn't want to be near you again. I didn't want to have to question myself. I didn't want to want you all over again. I didn't want to have hope that maybe things will be different this time!"

Bella was frustrated. Edward had the amazing ability to make her extremely confused and not know what or who to believe. She so badly wanted to believe him but there was a part of her that needed to maintain some protection around her heart.

"I know Bella. And I don't want to hurt you again. That's the last thing I want to do, so if you please just trust me this last time, I promise to do everything in my power to make things right again. Please."

She hated it when he gave her that look. That look that made it impossible for her to deny him anything.

Edward extended his hand and Bella looked at it. If she took it she would have to try to put the past behind them. She would have to try to trust him again.

Could she do that?

Did she _want_ to do that?

Bella continued looking at his hand and then looked back into his eyes. They were pleading with her to take it.

She did want to trust him. She just wasn't sure if she could do that or even if it was the right thing to do.

But her heart was screaming at her to take it. To just give him one more chance...because what if this time was different?

What if this time things ended exactly how she'd always wished they would? What if her and Edward were together fifty years from now with grandchildren and still loving each other more and more every day?

She made her decision.

And with that, Bella took his hand.

Edward looked down and exhaled heavily in relief.

"You won't regret this, I promise."

"I hope not Edward because my heart wouldn't be able to live through it."

"Can I just ask you for one more thing Bella?" Edward asked quietly, looking at her intensely.

Bella nodded her head, not looking away.

"Can I have one kiss?"

Bella hesitated. She'd just convinced herself to give him a second chance. Was it too early for that? Too fast?

Oh hell! She'd already given him another chance; she might as well do this. She nodded her head slowly and Edward leaned in ever so slightly, his lips hovering above hers, his eyes taking in every inch of her face before his lips met hers softly. They brushed against hers and Bella shivered in anticipation of what was to come.

Edward's hands went to her waist as he deepened the kiss. His tongue lightly tracing her lips as if begging for entrance. Bella opened them slightly and he entered her mouth with urgency. Her hands went to his hair and tugged gently.

The hands on her waist pressed her closer against him and slowly one made its way up her lower back, tracing her spine and into her hair.

Bella could feel every inch of him pressed against her. She could tell that he wanted her by the digging erection against her hip. Knowing how much he wanted her only made her want him more.

She'd missed this so much. So much. One place where she and Edward had never had a problem was in the bedroom. They fit each other perfectly and she remembered every moment of it.

It had been three years. Three whole years since she'd been with anyone. Edward was the only man she'd ever been with and that was three years ago. Her body was screaming for the release she hadn't had in such a long time.

Edward's hand slipped underneath her shirt to touch her exposed skin, his hand cold against her burning flesh and making its way to the clasp of her bra.

Seemingly realizing where they were and what they were about to do, Edward pulled way abruptly. Breathing heavily, Edward ran a hand through his hair and looked away from Bella as if trying to regain control.

"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to go that far."

Bella shook her head and replied, "It wasn't just you."

As they both struggled to breathe evenly, silence fell upon them. Neither really knew what to say now. How do you start fresh? _Where_ do you start? Bella's thoughts went back to her decision. Once again she was questioning herself.

What would the others think of it? Would they judge her or think that she was giving in too easily?

Bella was so deep into her thoughts she almost didn't hear when Edward spoke.

"Can I take you out tomorrow?" Edward asked.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I think you deserve a proper date before our next kiss" Edward leaned in and whispered in her ear, "And I _do_ want to kiss you again. As soon as possible."

Bella's heart skipped a beat.

Yes, she had made the right decision.

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**Pleaseeeeeeeeeee review!!!!! I really loveeeee and appreciate your feedback!!**

**Chapter 13 will be up really really fast if you review!! (little incentive )**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	13. I Love You Because

**  
Heya readers!! Thanks so much for sticking with me while I had that long break but it's over now and I'll try and update once a week.**

**Ok, first of all a lot of you are asking why Edward left Bella in the first place so let me answer that. Edward did leave Bella before the whole tape thing because James had already been telling him lots of things and messing with his mind but I'll explain more, later on in the story. James did and said a lot of things to Edward so please don't just judge Edward before you know the full story, pleasseeee. Hehe!**

**Oh yes and GaniTheTwilighter I put a flashback in this chapter just for you!**

**Once again loyal readers thanks sooo much for your reviews! All of them! And I am really sorry I don't have time to reply to them but I do really really appreciate all of them!**

**P.S For those of you who are obssessed with twilight and have never heard of TwilightGuide(dot)com please check it out! It's amazing!!**

**Ok....here's the story!!**

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**Chapter 13  
**

Bella awoke in her bed the next day feeling pretty good. She was happy, happy that things finally looked like they were progressing with Edward. She was so tired of fighting her emotions; it was too much effort. It took a strength that she no longer had.

And Edward was the only guy that could make her heart race. Nobody else could.

_Shit__**. **__Jacob._ Bella thought as she suddenly remembered how she'd left things with him last night. She was such a bitch. How could she do that to him? He was the last person to deserve that kind of treatment. She'd used him.

Edward had been right. Maybe if she'd gone to him first she could have avoided this situation. She wouldn't have hurt Jacob. She needed to call him. Right away.

But she was already late for work. It would kill her, but she would have to wait until after work to talk to him. She needed to apologize and beg for forgiveness.

Last night she was not her normal self. The things Edward brought out in her were remarkable. He could bring out the best and the worst in her.

Bella dragged herself out of bed and slowly began getting ready. She was excited to see Edward now that they were finally on 'good' terms. But obviously she couldn't act like she wanted to because of Tanya.

Edward still had to keep up the pretences. Both he and Bella needed to know whether it was James. Bella knew Edward believed her when she said it wasn't her on the tape but he still obviously needed to know the culprit behind it. And if it did turn out to be James then she dreaded to think of what would happen.

She knew Edward and James had been friends for a very long time so it would really hurt Edward if he found out his best friend was behind all this.

Deep in her heart she knew it was James but a big part of her didn't want it to be him just for Edward's sake. It would crush him.

As Bella stood in front of her wardrobe in just her bra and panties, she realised she hadn't had to dress up for anyone in quite a long time. She wanted to look nice today. For Edward.

It was refreshing to actually feel like a woman once again. The way Edward looked at her made her feel like the sexiest woman alive. Sometimes she still couldn't believe why someone like him would want someone like her but Edward had taught her to love and accept herself.

When they were together, he completely made her forget all about her appearance and while she knew now that she was quite appealing to some men, with Edward she felt like a Goddess.

************** Flashback ***************

_Edward and Bella were lying down in her bed. Her father, Charlie, was out working so they finally had the house to themselves. When Charlie was home they could not just lie in her bed for hours and talk. Charlie would not allow it, no matter how much he liked Edward._

_Edward was lying on his back with Bella on top of him, one leg thrown across him. One of his hands was slowly stroking her hair while the other hugged her at the waist. They were just enjoying each other's company and had been for quite some time now. _

_Edward seemed to be falling asleep when Bella spoke._

"_Edward, why do you like me?" she whispered not wanting to startle him._

_Edward opened his eyes sleepily and frowned, not really understanding what she was saying._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean, why me? There are so many other girls out there prettier than me, why do you like me?" she asked once again holding her breath for his answer._

_She didn't even know why she'd asked. She'd been wondering for some times but never had the courage to say it aloud but when her and Edward were like this she felt an unfamiliar wave of confidence rush through her._

"_First of all Bella, I think you _are _the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Second, I need to ask you for a favour before I tell you the rest," Edward asked and Bella sat up to face him before continuing._

"_What favour?"_

"_If I tell you why I love you, you have to promise me that you don't ever doubt yourself anymore. You have to see what I see Bella. You can't rely on someone else to make you believe in yourself. You have to do that for yourself okay?" he finished and continued to keep his gaze on Bella, trying to decipher whether she really understood what he was asking of her._

_Bella looked at a small piece of string hanging loose from the cover and thought hard. She knew what Edward was saying and completely agreed but could she actually do it?_

_All her life she'd depended on how other people felt about her to decide how she felt about herself. She always let people determine how she saw herself. Even with Edward. She'd never actually realised that she had to come to her own conclusion and not let others have all the power._

"_Yeah, I think I can do it Edward."Edward smiled proudly at her and kissed the back of her hand._

"_Ok, that's great. Well, I guess you don't need to know why I love you anymore do you?" he teased._

_Bella laughed and punched him gently on his arm teasingly._

"_Oh Yes I do! Now hurry up and tell me!" Edward laughed and sat with his back against the headboard of her bed, pulling Bella to him so that her back was against his chest. With his arms wrapped around her, Edward began._

"_I love you because of the way you always think of others before yourself. I love you because when you read a book you whisper it as you go. I love you because you're not afraid to make fun of yourself. I love you because when we both have French fries you still steal mine. I love you because you never fail to impress me with your weird sense of humour. I love you because you're you and nobody else."_

_Bella knew that to anyone who didn't share the moment she just shared with Edward, this might sound awfully cheesy but she couldn't help the tears that escaped her as he spoke. The raw emotion in his voice told her he was being nothing but serious and that awakened strong emotions she never thought she'd feel. _

_As a young teenager, she'd always dreamt about finding someone who would love her for her. She had dreamt of her perfect guy and how he would be but never in a million years did she think he would want her back._

_So many people had told her she lived in a fantasy world. So many people told her that the way she saw love was unrealistic and impossible to find. _

_But she'd continued to dream. There was nothing wrong with dreaming as long as she knew that, that was all it was – just a dream._

_But she'd found him. Her perfect guy. _

_He wasn't perfect of course – he had his flaws. But to her he was perfect...and she couldn't believe he loved her back._

************* End Flashback **************

Bella shook herself from the memories as she grabbed her bag and headed out of the door. Sometimes she wished she could go back in time and do so many things differently. Maybe if she knew then what she knew now, things would be completely different.

But as she reached Edward's office she forced herself into work mode. She needed to finish this assignment.

So far, she'd written a few notes here and there but nothing extensive. Today she would focus on her assignment one hundred and ten percent. She had to do well.

She wouldn't focus on Edward and his sexy hair. She wouldn't focus on his bright and heated green eyes. She would not focus on his seductive and (from what she was reminded of last night) deliciously tasting mouth. And she definitely _would not_ focus on anything else below his neck.

Yep, today she was going to do her job and nothing else. No day-dreaming or fantasizing about anything. No matter how much her body was begging for it.

But as Bella walked into Edward's office this task proved to be harder than she thought it would be because there was Edward, somehow looking even more tasty than he did last night.

_Lord, have mercy on me._ Bella thought and groaned inwardly.

Edward looked up at her as she walked to sit by a chair next to him. His eyes became lustful and slightly mischievous. He gave her his infamous smirk and gave her outfit an appreciate look.

"Good morning Isabella," he said in a low voice.

"Good morning Edward," she replied, clearing her throat.

Neither said anything else for the next hour. Bella really thought things were going well and according to plan, that is until she felt Edward's hand slowly caressing her knee. She looked up, startled but Edward didn't even flinch. His eyes continued on his papers as if nothing was going on so Bella continued trying to write up her notes.

But however much she didn't want him to, he was completely distracting her. His hand made slow but deliberate circles on her skin as they made their way up to her thigh.

Bella felt as if her face was burning up and it probably was. The familiar tightening in her stomach and the growing wetness between her legs was telling her that she needed to stop him. But her body would not cooperate.

Her breaths became slightly more laboured and she was fighting the urge to just put his hands where she needed it most. Edward finally looked up.

"Is something wrong Isabella?" he asked with a smirk.

Bella gave him the dirtiest look she could manage.

"Yes something is wrong Edward," her breath escaped her as he moved his hand even further up to the top of her thighs. He was so close now. So close.

Bella squirmed in her seat trying to move his hand further up but Edward would not budge.

"If you tell me what's wrong I might be able to help."

Bella couldn't play this game anymore. She hadn't been touched like this in so long, there was no way she could stand this teasing anymore. She grabbed his hand under the table and placed it directly on the place she most needed to be touched.

The hunger in Edward's eyes grew as Bella moaned at the contact.

But just as Edward was about to give her the pleasure she desired, the door flew open.

In a flash, Edward's hand was back at his side and Bella fought to regain her composure.

"Hi baby. Sorry I'm late. I had an appointment at the hair salon but those incompetent idiots didn't realise who I was and made me wait. Can you believe that? Me? Wait? Trust me, I told them I would never set foot in that place again and that they had just lost a very powerful customer!" Tanya ranted as she walked past Bella and sat on Edward's lap. "I missed you so much baby. Did you miss me?" she asked in a baby voice.

Edward shifted awkwardly in his seat, cleared his throat and ran a shaky hand through his hair. Tanya's eyes lit up as she shifted slightly in his lap.

"Ooh...someone's pleased to see me! Wow Eddie that's a new record even for you!" she exclaimed and tried to kiss him. Edward pushed her away slightly, looking uncomfortable.

"Um...Tanya, we have company." He motioned to Bella who was trying to look anywhere but at them.

Tanya looked over at Bella and waved dismissively.

"Oh please. She's not company. Just kick her out so we can have a few minutes alone."

"Tanya I can't do that, she's here to do an assignment. You know that," Edward replied. Tanya pouted at Edward and then looked over at Bella to send her a menacing glare.

"So what? Bella won't mind just a few minutes, will you Bella?" she turned to Bella with a threatening look, daring her to refuse.

Bella didn't want to go because she knew what would happen if she did but at the same time she didn't want to stay and have to witness this especially after what had just happened between her and Edward.

"You know what, I have to make a quick phone call anyways I'll just be a minute."

Edward looked at her in disbelief, not understanding why she was leaving them alone. But Bella couldn't stay there and she didn't want to have to face Tanya's wrath if she had stayed so with that she left the room.

She did need to make a phone call anyways. She dialled the number and waited for the person to pick up. After a few rings Bella was losing hope when finally the phone was answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jake, can we talk?"

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**Let's see what happens with Edward and Tanya next! And how will the conversation with Jake go???**

**REVIEW PLEASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!**


	14. The Kind of Love Where

**Hey everyone! Sorry about not updating once a week but I seriously have soooo many assignments due in throughout these next two weeks it's ridiculous!**  
**As always...to my faithful readers many many thanks for you reviews!! They make me want to dance(i actually do have my own 'happy-reviews-dance' that i do) lol!!**

**Thanks so much for the reviews but I was just a teensy bit dissapointed that we only got 23 for the last chapter so can you pleaseeee review even if it's just a one word comment?**

**Pretty please with a cherry on top!!**

**I actually really like this chapter for some reason....don't know? Hope you guys like it!!**

**By the way...did anybody read that my baby Rob Pattinson is thinking of quitting acting after the Twilight Saga?????? I would actually die!!  
**

**xxxxxxxxxxx kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

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**Chapter 14**

"Hi Jake, can we talk?"

Bella heard the silence on the other side of the phone and her stomach clenched. She knew he would have every right to be upset with her.

She had used him and played with his feelings knowing exactly how he felt for her. Friends don't do that. Maybe Jacob should tell her to disappear. She deserved it.

"Look Jake, I know you're pissed off with me and you have every right to be. I don't know what to say to apologize. I was very selfish and –"

"You don't get it Bella. It's not just about the fact that you used me to get back at Edward. It's not just about the fact that you did all that knowing how I felt about you. It's the fact that for that moment when you kissed me, I really felt that there was hope and that just maybe...you could like me back."

Bella's heart dropped as she realised just how bad it was. She knew now that she really had played with his emotions and it probably would be even harder to go back to normal now.

All because of her stupid games with Edward and her inability to just confront him first about what she'd seen.

"I understand. I just wanted to tell you that I really am sorry and that if one day you feel like you could stand to be around me then I'll be here. You are a great friend Jake."

"Look Bella, I'm not saying that I don't want us to be friends anymore. I'm just saying that you have to give me some time to myself so that I can try and be normal around you. It's not fair for you to ask me to still carry on as normal. Just give me some time."

Bella sighed and nodded even though she knew Jacob couldn't see her.

"You're right. I'll give you all the time you need. I am sorry though Jake."

"Damn it Bella, you make it so hard to be pissed at you. I hate that about you." Jacob laughed softly. Bella laughed too, feeling slightly more relived that maybe things would be okay.

"Take care of yourself Jake. And as soon as you're ready, please let me know right away."

"I definitely will Bells. You take care of yourself too," he said softly.

With that, Bella hung up the phone. Her eyes prickled slightly with tears.

Even though she rationally knew that things were going to be alright, it did mean that she wouldn't talk to or see Jacob in a while.

She didn't even know how long it might take for him to sort himself out.

Why did she have to be such an idiot? If she hadn't tried to get revenge on Edward then maybe none of this would have happened. She and Jacob would still be fine.

Just then, Edward's office door slammed open and Tanya stormed out.

"Fucking sort your shit out Edward and don't fucking come to me until you have!" she took one long look at Bella as she passed and then walked into the elevator still fuming.

Bella walked back into the office where Edward was sitting at his chair, looking remarkably calm considering Tanya had just left in hysterics.

"Um, Edward. What just happened?" Bella asked cautiously.

"I told you, you should have stayed. She got all angry when Mr. Big wouldn't stay up for her," he responded coolly.

Bella felt herself turning red as she realised what he was talking about. She looked away from his eyes which were looking at her intensely. Too intensely.

"Oh...well...yeah...okay..." Bella didn't know what to say to that and the way he was looking at her was making her forget how to form a sentence.

"What did she expect though? I just had the most gorgeous woman in the room with me and then she walks in and expects Mr. Big to respond to _her_?" Edward continued in a low tone.

Bella just didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted to change the subject to something safe but she didn't know what say.

She cleared her throat and looked away from him. He was still staring powerfully as if he was looking into her which she guessed he was probably trying to.

That was one thing Edward had always done with her; trying to see into her mind, into her heart. When they were dating, sometimes he would just stop and stare at her for masses of time without saying anything.

Bella always told him that there was no use looking so deeply – he wouldn't be able to read her thoughts or anything. She laughed it off but Edward always replied 'you can do anything if you want it badly enough'.

It used to take her breath away when he spoke in that breathy, extremely low tone and the way his eyes looked like they wanted to eat her alive always made her heart feel like it would jump out of her chest.

And it seemed that nothing had changed...he still took her breath away and her heart still felt like it would try and escape from the powerful emotions he arose.

"So...what are you doing today?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

Edward smirked like he knew what she was trying to do but said nothing about it.

"I've got some interviews and photo shoots and that's about it really."

"Okay well, let's make a start to our day."

* * *

Bella made her way into the restaurant where she was meeting the gang. She had so much to talk to them about it was crazy.

She smiled as Alice waved her over to their table excitedly. Bella sucked in a breath of air and prepared herself.

She hadn't told them about her and Edward yet or what had happened at the club with Jacob. She wasn't sure how they were going to react but hopefully they would see that coming to the decision to forgive Edward, hadn't been an easy task.

And she knew what she was doing. Right?

"Hey guys!" she said as she sat down beside Alice and Emmett. Rosalie and Jasper were also there and greeted her happily.

"Where have you been Bells? We haven't heard from you since that dinner at Alice's house," Emmet asked.

"Well...I've kind of been busy with Edward – I mean, you know, the article I have to write about him and all...so yeah..." she stammered.

As she looked over to her friends, she knew she'd been caught out. She never had been a great liar.

"Okay Bella...spill it. What happened?" Rosalie ordered in her typical authoritarian tone. Her friends faces were all looking at her expectantly and Bella knew she would have to tell them anyways so she might as well do it now.

So she told them. She told them everything from the moment she'd left Alice's house to the moment she'd said goodbye to him today.

And they listened intently. Alice looked quite excited – but then she always did so Bella wasn't sure whether it was for her or not, Jasper remained passive with a hint of a smile on his face, Rosalie looked bored as she always did but Bella knew she was okay with everything she'd said.

The expression that shocked her the most was Emmett's. He was looking at the table with a scowl and deadly serious expression on his face.

"Aw, that's really great Bella! I'm so glad things are looking up!" Alice squealed excitedly. Bella knew Alice would be happy.

Alice had stuck by with Bella over her decision but Bella always knew that Alice still loved her brother. She'd always planned Edward and Bella's wedding, and always got excited at the prospect of Bella becoming her 'proper sister'.

Obviously Alice knew that what her brother had done was extremely wrong but a small part of her always hoped that maybe one day things would work out with Bella and Edward.

"Yeah, as long as you know what you're doing Bella then I guess we're happy for you," Jasper added.

Bella smiled at him gratefully and then looked at Rosalie for her opinion. Rosalie waved dismissively and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever go be happy, yadda yadda yadda," she smiled at Bella to let her know she wasn't really being rude and that she was truly happy for her.

Lastly, Bella turned to Emmett and waited, dread filling her. He didn't look happy.

"Em?" she tried hesitantly.

He turned to her still deadly serious.

"How could you Bella? Did you forget what that jerk did to you? What happened to 'I need to keep my personal life and professional life separate? Huh? If you go back to him, then you really are an idiot Bella."

At first, everything Emmett said truly hurt her. Of course she hadn't forgotten what Edward did to her. She would never forget. But sometimes when you truly love someone with all your heart, you have to forgive them.

And not that kind of love where everybody just throws it around in conversations. No, not that love.

She was talking about true love.

The kind of love where you actually would do anything for them. The kind of love where, no matter how hard you try not to, the only thing you can think about is them. The kind of love where you body physically aches when you miss them so much you carve out your own heart just to take away the pain. The kind of love where nobody, no matter how perfect, will ever be able to replace them.

And then she got angry. She grew furious.

"Who the fuck are you to be saying these things to me? Don't you think I know all that?! You weren't the one who had to go through those things, I was! So don't be bullshitting me about have I forgotten because I haven't and probably never will! I've thought long and hard about this and yes it is a risk but it's a risk I need to take so it would be great if my friends supported me!"

"Fine Bella. If that's what you want then do whatever the fuck you feel like doing. Just don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart again alright?!"

"Don't worry Emmett, I definitely won't be coming to you for anything!" Bella pulled back her chair and left the restaurant.

She hadn't even finished her meal but right now she didn't care. Emmett had no right to say the things he did. No right!

Bella got into her car still fuming from what had just happened.

She didn't need his permission to do anything anyways. She was a grown woman; she could do what she wanted.

And if Edward broke her heart again then it was her problem, not his so why the fuck was he so pissed off like it had happened to him?!

As Bella got home, she threw her things on the couch and paced the room. She was angry.

She got her phone out and made a phone call. After that, she went into her room and stripped down to her bra and panties. She took the hair band from her hair and shook it needed to calm down or she was going to explode with fury.

She paced up and down the room once again, still in her underwear and ran an unsteady hand through her hair.

Emmett was being so unreasonable! He was supposed to be her friend. Friends don't do what he did. Everyone else was supportive so why was he being such a dick?

The doorbell rang and Bella made her way.

It didn't matter anyways. Like she said, she was a grown woman and she could do whatever she wanted.

Bella opened the door and smiled seductively as Edward stood there. His face went into pure shock as he took in her barely covered body.

"Bella – you...uh...you called...I was worried..." he stammered, still looking at her standing there in her deep red bra and panties set.

Bella grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into her room. The cool, collected, arrogant Edward she was so used to by now was completely gone.

He just followed her into her room, looking nervous yet aroused. She looked at his lips and then traced them with her tongue. Edward moaned and moved to kiss her but Bella pushed him away carefully. She ran her hands up and down his chest, beneath his shirt. She unbuttoned his shirt completely and left it open.

Bella walked backwards to her bed and sat in the centre, leaning back and looking at Edward, lust filling her eyes.

"Bella...what are you doing?" Edward croaked to ask as he swallowed heavily.

"What do you think I'm doing Edward? I want you to make love to me."

* * *

**As I have said before...pleaseeeeeeeeeee REVIEW EVEN IF IT'S JUST ONE WORD! OTHERWISE I WILL BE VERYY VERRY SAD!xxxxx**


	15. Fervidly Connected

**Heyyaaaa dear readers!! I am sooo grateful for all the reviews of the last chapter!! There were loads more!! Thank you!!!! **

**First of all, I have to mention that HTMHTC was nominated for the 'Angst All Around' contest on the Twi-Awards.I don't know who nominated me but THANK YOU SO MUCH!! It makes me feel soooooooo amazing to know that somebody actually loved my fic enough to nominate me!! So if you wanna check out the site its www . twiawards . webs . com (without the spaces of course!) and please vote! Thanks!**

**Secondly, I am going to watch New Moon tomorrow!!!! I am sooooooo excited! My friend watched it today and she loved it so if you lot have seen it let me know what you thought of it!! And if you haven't seen it you can cry to me about it! lol.**

**Also, a lot of you have been very mean about Edward...hope you lot will like him more after this chapter!**

**The chapter you have all been waiting for..........drum rolls pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!**

**p.s If you nominated me for the awards please let me know so I can thank you personally!!!**

**xxxxxxx  
**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

Edward was frozen in his place. His eyes wide and shocked. Suddenly, he began pacing furiously back and forth across the room.

"Bella, I don't know what's happened but you can't just say something like that to me. Look, if we do this then you're just gonna wake up in the morning hating me...and I do not want that so...let me just leave and we'll forget this ever happened."

He gave her a firm look and began making his way out of the room. Bella quickly bounced off the bed and grabbed him by the wrist. He stopped but didn't turn around to face her.

"Edward, I'm sure of this ok? I need it. I promise I won't wake up tomorrow and hate you. I'm completely sober...I know what I'm doing ok?" Bella reassured him softly.

She saw, rather than heard, him breathe in and out deeply. He ran an agitated hand through his hair and slowly turned back to face her completely. The look in his eyes nearly made Bella gasp; it was dark, lustful and consumed with need. Edward looked her straight in the eyes and asked:

"I'm asking you one more time, are you sure? Think carefully Bella, because you're asking me to do something and when I start I may not have the power to stop," his voice deep and restrained.

Bella looked him straight on and never wavered.

"I'm sure," was all she said.

As soon as the last sound escaped her lips Edward smashed his onto hers. His hands moved to grab her by the waist and secure her further into him. Bella kissed back with all the strength and passion she'd locked inside her all these years.

She hadn't been with anyone since Edward – she actually hadn't ever been with anyone besides Edward.

Bella's hands travelled up his back and into his hair tugging it and messing it up even more so than usual, causing Edward to groaned into Bella's mouth. She remembered how much he loved it when she grabbed his hair.

Edward's tongue was instantly at Bella's lips, licking them, begging for entrance. She couldn't deny him any longer and surrendered to his invasion.

Their tongues moved in a frantic pace, wanting to taste every part they could reach and leave no space untouched. Bella's knees buckled slightly and she could feel herself growing weaker with every sweep of his tongue.

Edward's hand slowly made its way up from her lower back to trace her spine, memorizing every inch of her skin. He kept his touch light and Bella could tell it was taking him everything he had not to throw her on the bed and fuck her.

Three years ago, she wouldn't have minded taking things slowly – but this was not three years ago.

Bella reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged it up, discarding it on the floor, their mouths parting only for a second. Her hands now roamed freely across his upper body. He felt bigger than he was before.

His muscles more defined and toned. His skin was as soft and as warm as she remembered and she couldn't resist running her hands over him over and over again.

Edward removed his mouth from hers and Bella groaned deeply at the loss of contact but rejoiced when his mouth made its way across her jaw, each kiss short but left the space between her legs dripping with need.

His mouth moved to her neck where he began leaving open mouthed kisses and then slowly as he brought each kiss down to her neck, his tongue would swipe her momentarily.

He kissed her on the shoulder and then stepped back. Bella took this time to finally look at him. She'd been right, he was definitely a lot more toned and defined. His six-pack was clearly distinguishable now. She looked up into his eyes and saw that he was looking at her intensely.

"Take off your bra and panties," he growled. Edward was breathing heavily and his remained on her so focused and unwavering that Bella nervously reached back and undid her bra.

As she slid the bra straps from her arms, Edward's gaze lowered to her breasts. When her bra hit the floor, Bella wasn't prepared for the growl that escaped Edward and his sudden attack on her breasts.

His mouth instantly engulfed her nipples and licked in a frenzy as if this were the last time he would ever get to do this. Bella moaned long and loudly as the feeling rushed straight down to her core. She held his head closer to her, trying to get more pressure.

Edward alternated back and forth between each breasts and as time passed and Bella grew wetter by the minute, she wondered how much longer he was going to lavish take on them as he wasn't giving any sign of letting go.

And as much as she loved this, she was ready – no, she _needed_ more. She tugged on Edward's hair, making him realise she was calling him.

"Edward, please. I..I need more. Please!" she cried. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed to feel him inside her or she would combust.

It seemed that Edward finally decided to end the torture and grasped her panties in his hand and pulled them down with one swift tug. Now that Bella was completely exposed to him, Edward took a long look at her, taking in her heaving breasts and her hot and wet centre. He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath preparing himself for what was coming.

His hands traced a path from her neck, between her breasts, to her stomach and finally reached its destination. His fingers parted her and then he slowly and deliberately eased his forefinger inside her.

Bella cried out in pleasure and arched her back. Edward's eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head when he felt how hot and tight she was.

He couldn't wait to be in her.

As he began to pump his finger in and out, he kept his eyes trained on every inch of her face, taking in every expression of pleasure and every glance she spared him when she was able to open her eyes. He added another finger in and Bella gasped.

"Edward! Please...I need you in me. Please!" she cried.

He continued to pump in her, feeling her heat. He sped up suddenly and Bella grasped his shoulders, digging her fingers into him.

"Be patient baby...I'm getting there." Edward replied in a husky tone.

He continued his fast rhythm and Bella's breath came in pants. She began scratching at his back as her orgasm approached. Edward added a third finger and began rubbing his thumb on her clit. Bella trembled and shook and screamed with all her might. Edward felt her tighten around his fingers and watched her come undone. He could not longer wait.

He pulled down his zipper and took off his pants and boxers as quickly as he could. Bella was breathing heavily beneath him, her hair sticking to her forehead. He grasped his cock in his hand and guided it towards her heat.

As soon as his cock came into contact with her warmth, he felt a jolt of shock rush through him. She was so hot that he couldn't even think. But suddenly, Edward forced himself to move away. Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes once again.

"Bella...please tell me you have a condom," he said shakily.

Bella finally opened her eyes and looked at him unfocusedly as if trying to understand what he was saying. She finally grasped what he said and pointed to a drawer beside the bed.

Edward reached for it and exhaled heavily in relief when his hand felt a condom wrapper inside. Quickly, he ripped the package open and shed the condom over himself.

There was nothing stopping them now. His cock grew harder at the thought.

Their eyes met and Edward slowly leaned down and kissed Bella deeply and languidly before finally easing inside her slowly. Edward scrunched his brow as he felt her heat taking in every inch of his cock.

Bella moaned intensely and wrapped her legs around him to secure him inside her.

"Oh...shit Bella...you're so fucking...tight," Edward panted.

Her only response was to put her hands on his ass to press him in deeper. Once he was fully inside her, they both groaned. Edward didn't move for what seemed to Bella like an eternity. He needed a minute to stop himself from coming from then and there.

Edward had, had sex with other women since Bella but sex with Bella was indescribable. It was like they were made for each other. Her body took him in like a hand to a glove. They fit perfectly.

Edward began slow but long strokes so that she could grow accustomed to his size. Then, he changed to short and fast strokes suddenly, causing Bella to groan and her eyes to roll back. He began pumping harder, faster until he could no longer control his movements.

He reached behind and pulled her legs so that knees were resting on his chest, which allowed for a much deeper angle and made her so much tighter. Edward lost him and pumped relentlessly into her in a hurried and unsteady pace.

Edward felt his orgasm approaching and quickly reached down and began rubbing firmly on Bella's clit.

"Edward...I'm coming...shit! Oh fuck!" Bella screamed as she came. As her walls tightened around him, Edward could no longer hold back and spilled himself into her. He fell onto her exhausted and all that could be heard in the room was erratic breathing.

Neither said a word for a long time. Edward wasn't sure what this meant and he couldn't help but be slightly worried that she would regret this even though she said she wouldn't.

But he didn't regret it. Making love to Bella was never something he could regret. He could just lie there, inside her, forever. He'd never been so relaxed, so sated.

But reality called.

He slid away from her warmth and instantly felt cold but he had to discard the condom and besides...he didn't want to crush her with his weight.

Bella's eyes opened instantly as he moved away from her.

"Where are you going?" she asked, alarmed.

"I'm just putting the condom in the trash. Don't worry...I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to," he said as he sank back onto the bed, lying on his back.

"No please...just stay with me," Bella pleaded. She rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him, casually throwing one leg over his. Edward wrapped his arms around her in return and ran a finger up and down her spine, caringly.

"I'll stay with you for as long as you want me to baby. I'll never go anywhere ever again."

Bella sighed contently and closed her eyes as a sudden exhaustion took over her and she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Mommy!" a little boy was running. He was around 3 years old with messy brown hair and lively green eyes. He had a cheeky smile and was laughing happily. Bella was running after him but she couldn't seem to catch up. They were in a forest. It was sunny and bright and there were birds chirping happily. The leaves were green and alive.

"Mommy catch me!" he shouted excitedly. Was she his mom? She didn't know but she felt a surge in her to catch him and keep him safe in her arms. She was trying to catch up to him but she couldn't seem to. She was running as fast as she could. The little boy continued to run and look back at her, laughing carelessly and happily.

Suddenly, everything grew dark. Bella stopped running and looked ahead. She couldn't see anything. Anything at all. It was so dark. The trees suddenly seemed too big and frightening. The birds had stopped chirping and thunder rumbled in the sky.

"Mommy!!!" the little boy didn't seem happy anymore. He was crying for her but she couldn't see him. Bella started running again but she couldn't seem to place where he was - she was just running. Fear grew in her stomach and her heart clenched. Tears ran down her face and she breathed heavily as she continued running aimlessly.

"Mommy!!!!!" was the last thing Bella heard before she was torn away from the forest. She awoke to find Edward shaking her and calling her name.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked looking at her with concern. Tears were running down her face and she couldn't stop sobbing. He put his arms around her and held her as she cried endlessly.

It was only a nightmare.

* * *

**Once again I make me plee....PLEASE REVIEWWWW! I REALLY REALLY LOVE REVIEWS. I REALLY PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO WRITING THIS CHAPTER EVEN THOUGH I HAD THE WORST WEEK EVER. FEEL SORRY FOR ME....lol.**

**AND THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO DO REVIEW ALL THE TIME! GOD BLESS YOU...and god bless Robert Pattinson for being so freaking perfect!**

**Did anybody see his interview on the Ellen Degeneres show??? Freaking awesomeeee!! xxxxxx  
**


	16. NEW MOON

**NEW MOON**

**Heya Dear Readers!**

**First of all I apologize if you thought this was a chapter but I just thought that I had to dedicate a page for New Moon.**

**I watched the film on Saturday and it was freaking amazing!!! As you all probably already know I am a hardcore Robert/Edward fan,**

**but I must confess...(drum rolls please).......Taylor Lautner really freaking rocked in this film!!**

**To be honest, I really didn't expect much from him in this film but he soooo changed my opinion after watched it. He was everything that**

**I has imagined Jacob would be. Don't worry readers, I have not gone over to the other side, I will always be Team Edward but I have**

**to admit that Taylor completely won me over and I like him soooo much more now. Even though I already knew what was going to happen**

**in the second film (coz I read the book) Taylor made me feel for Jacob soooo much it was unbelievable! I kept wishing that Bella would**

**actually stay with .How bad is that???? I am not converted don't worry! Even though I am currently talking like a Team Jacob, will**

**always stay true and loyal to Robert.**

**(IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE FILM TURN AWAY NOW!! SMALL SPOILER AHEAD!!!!!!)**

* * *

**And one last thing I must confess when Jacob leaned in to kiss Bella, I actually physically leaned in as well! lol!!! My friend was with me**

**and she turned to me and was like 'what are you doing???' **

**Yup...terrible I know!!**

**Please, please, please if you' ve seen the film leave me a comment and tell me what you liked about it and what you didn't.**

**I am so curious to know if many people were ALMOST converted to team Jacob like I was.**

**Thanks so reading and sorry again!!!**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**


	17. Update

**Hey everyone.**

**Firstly I need to apologize to you all for taking so so long for an explanation and there's really no excuse but this is what happened.**

**Since the last time I updated, my life has taken an unexpected turn. So many things have changed it's ridiculous. A lot of bad things have happened too**  
**that have prevented me from even thinking about writing. I'm not going to bore you with details but I am going to say that even though writing is my passion**  
**sometimes real life comes first and if any of you write as well I'm sure you'll understand.**

**I want to apologise a million times over for taking so long to say something. And I am honestly deeply sorry.**

**I want to thank each and every single one of you for reading my story and staying with me. And as much as it kills me to say this, I will not be carrying on with HTMHTC.**

**I am soooo sorry but I've lost all interest in this story and due to personal circumstances some of its content is actually unbearable to write.**

**I hope you all understand and don't hate me. Hopefully some day soon I'll start a fresh new story but until then I just have to say thank you once again for everyone**  
**who's read the story and a million thanks to all of you who reviewed.**

**Really sorry and if anyone would like to take the story and carry on with its plot or even start fresh with it let me know and I'd be happy to give it to you.**

**Bye.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	18. Continuation

**Hey readers. One last update from me.**

**Just wanted to let you know that I have found someone to continue this story so if you would like to keep reading it then go to TwilightAngel90 and read it from her.**

**I really want to thank her for wanting to carry on this story and I'm sure she's going to do an amazing job with it! Do know however that she is beginning a new**

**semester and therefore will only post in 2 weeks.**

**Thanks so much for sticking with me once again and please do go on and read the continuation of 'He Taught Me How To Cry'.**

**Love you all!**

**xxxxxxxxxx**


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